Tuesday 18 August 2015

with Brain Tumour - I dont wanna repeat ! = ThanksTuesday - Complete

with Brain Tumour - I dont wanna repeat ! =
Thanks Tuesday - Complete 

LMAO - Now - that Heading just about sums it up !!! - OMG - EVEN THAT DOESNT MAKE SENCE !! - But - In the right order it does !!! ... its meant to say

TUESDAY,  WITH BRAIN TUMOUR - I DONT WANNA REPEAT - THANKS !!

See - THAT made sence !!

It all started so so so well - up at 6am - showered - dressed, make up, post to facebook, google+ and twitter - fed cats and dog - cleaned out cats - hoovered - EVERYWHERE was lovely and tidy from the evening before - So - PERFECT - I can record a video for YouTube Channel - Mmmmmm - Now - whats this one gonna be about ??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2MjBKZfVEE - well - see for yourself - Quite Normal - Happy - Totally myself - !! - Lovely - Then I made another Coffee and decided to have a hoover upstairs - Fabulous - ohhh im so with it today !!! THEN came back down - and OMG - I HAVE HAD AN EPIFINY  - and NEED to video AGAIN !!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ziwl9AHB6w - I do like to make it known what im thinking about when im ok !! And - this all makes perfect sence -

BUT - WHAT YOU DONT KNOW - IS THAT I HAD TOTALLY OVERDONE IT - AND BY THE TIME MY MUM ARRIVED AT 10.30 - I HAD STARTED TO LOOSE MY BRAIN FUNCTION !! = Mmmm - Maybe you can see or possibly understand it in the NEXT video I posted - to Facebook this time !!

https://www.facebook.com/abigail.barry/videos/10153596603525439/?pnref=story

lmao - OK - maybe it looks normal - but - all this done by 10.30am - and standing out in the rain - waiting for mum who said she was going to turn up at 10.45am ( Thank God she was early !! otherwise I would have been drenched !! )  Mmmmm - Maybe a 'little' odd !! ..... and then to stand there in the rain ( It is raining - just doesn't look it ! ) and talk into my Phone while people are walking past and dogs barking maybe explains WHY the class my illness as Psych rather than Organic - Cant say I blame em really !! lmao = BUT - I was HAPPY - at that time - Swimming gear all ready - and Off we went to meet Sarah at the Heron Swimming Pool  - 11am and she was there - on the dot !! - Way to go - that's what I like !! - Id spent about 10 minutes at the cash desk actually TRYING to wait for the guy to finish with the machine so I could pay by card - and I didn't loose my rag or anything - all perfectly normal - SHOULD HAVE KNOWN !! - I was holding it together all FAR TOO WELL !! Anyways - Mum got the Coffee's - Kids were playing BEAUTIFULLY in the pool - Tom giving Cass PiggyBacks - and Cass trying to duck him - all chatting and not too much noise - Mmmmmm - Then I heard behind us talking about the Little Theatre - Where Mum does a lot of work - and so I started listening to them - then the Juicer started going - then the Cappahino Machine - Deep Fat Fryer - then My Phone went off and scared the life out of me - I IMMEDIATELY without thinking turned it off - NOT ANSWERING IT - DONT WANT TO !!  - ( Mmmmmm Should have known !! ) Then carried on chatting to Sarah and Mutti and watching Kids - turning my head very far so I could see them ( This is always a bad move ! - always sets my head off ) Anyways - then Tom and Cass get to us - Cass arrived first - and after stories of when Sarah and Clare & Barney ( My brother ) went swimming with Clares dad and always came out late - Tom turned up - and told everyone he was starving and NEEDING FEEDING !! - lol - ok - He had cheesy Chips - ( There is nothing of him ) and Cassia hada Tuna and Salad Sarnie - Mum and I were not hungry ( I hadn't eaten at all since 6pm the night before - Just drunk Coffee - which BY THE WAY - I have tried to cut out - for three months- and just drank Mint Tea - and it made NO DIFFERENCE WHAT SO EVER !! - CAFFINE DOES NOT EFFECT ME )



Anyways = Sarah had to leave as was making dinner for Her dad - or rather Lunch - and so I thought everything going ok - and started to leave - THAST WHEN PANDAMONIUM BROKE OUT !!
It LOOKED as though Tom had Kicked Cassia - and Cass started to cry - so - Told tom off and went to comfort Cass - Tom Pleaded Ignorance and Stated that it was Cassia's fault - Mmmm - So - Why was she crying - Anyways - Cass and I walked off - Mum Started to tell Cassia off for being loud - as this would set my head off - Cassia started crying more - and maybe one or two expletives came out - Mum Told her off for this - WELL - THEN I STARTED - -I SAID IT WAS ACTUALLY TOM - AND NOT CASS THAT HAD STARTED ALL THIS AND .... BLAR BLAR BLAR - SWEAR SWEAR SHOUT SHOUT - MUM then tapped me on the arm and said SHHHHHHHHHJ - and looked around - WELL - NEVER EVER EVER DO THIS TO ME - I AM NOT IN CONTROL BY THIS POINT - AND OMFG - I WENT FOR IT = SHOUTING I DIDNT ******** GIVE A F***** s**t WHO WAS ********* WATCHING AND ******* LISTENING AND TO **********  STOP BEING **********  SO JUDGEMENTAL = and then mum just walked off - Not even a backward glance -



I was dumbfounded - Couldn't believe that she had gone and left me with the kids - argueing and I was well - GONNA KILL - So best thing I could do - was not be anywhere near anyone - SAo I told Cassia to go to the car with mum - as I knew I could NOT be in charge of a nine year old at this point - Tom had already gone with mum - and I just went - I walked - PMSL - OK OK - rather stumbled - looking drunk - through the town - my eye sight had kinda gone blurry by this point  = and I remembered I had no cash - so I went and emptied my bank account - CAUSE THATS NORMAL !!! = and Crossed the road - Cars beeping - and me telling them to F*** Off - and I went and sat at the Bus Stop - Wel - The Bus Stop That I THOUGHT was my one !! .... Waited = and another bus came to the stop just by mine - but I stayed put - My Phone Rang - a few times - and it was Tom - Where was I - etc He came and found me - But - There was NO WAY I WAS GETING INTO THE CAR WITH MUM - IF I WAS AN EMBARRASSMENT - THEN I WOULD BLOODY GET MYSELF HOME - and of course - I couldn't bloody speak by this point either - but - got my point across - and Tom is used to this - so went off and spoke to mum in the car - A BUS - YIPPEE =  Single to My House - " Wheres your house love " = ' Ohhh F*** ermm - Herne - Kinda of - up the hill - bny the old peoples home - ' - " - Ohhh I go straight to Canterbury Love " - ' WELL WHY ISNT THAT WRITTEN ON THE FUCKING BUS THEN " -" it is " - opps - He told me to get the bus behind - I Thanked him, cause im polite likie that !!! xx



I stumbled to the bus behind and asked for a Single to the stop over the bridge- past the pub - round the corner and about a minutes drive away - Through tears - The LOVELY driver said - just give me a pound love and take a seat - its not that bad - " It F****** IS " -  I said- But Thanked Him .. I sat there Bloody Phone Going - ( THATS LIFE BY F. SINATRA..... Must change that as it was a bloody farce by the time I got off !! ) Tried to talk to To on the Phone - but couldn't get words out - was quite loud - and sweary - then - crying again - a little old lady got off - and as she walked past she put her hand on my arm - SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND I JUMPED AND SHOUTED 'FUCK' - but smiled as she got off - she meant well = Anyway - I got to my stop - Thanked the driver who just said Good Luck - and I fell infront of the fuc**** bus !! Not right over- but I grabbed the radiator Bars of the bus which wre boiling hot - and got up - NOW MY HEAD AND MY BLOODY HAND WAS KILLING ME !! - But - No-one had seen - so all ok - Pride intact - LMFAOROTFL !



I literally stumbled home - back of head and eyes ABSOLUTELY IN AGONY - Tears - Sniffing - had to hold on to lamppost - but actualy remember that I was WELL IMPRESSED that I had got home - !! = Anyways - Got to near the corner of my street - and mum pulls up - I said No Fucking way am I getting in the F******* Car with you ever again and I walked off - ok ok - stumbled = ohh and that sentence was totally stuttered - AND I HADNT EVEN HAD A DRINK - I DEFO THINK I MAY START ......



Got home - and Mum had let herself in and was making coffee - OMFG - I WS LIVID - so - didn't want to start anything - I went upstairs - Put on my PJ's - had a wee !! ( as you do ) and got into bed - Head absolutely killing me - and I couldn't really see - everything was sooo blurry - Mum Knocked and came in - IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS I TOLD HER TO GET OUT - AND SHE WS TO NEVER SEE ME AGAIN - ( All said as if im drunk and through ridiculas tears ) IF I WAS SUCH AN EMBARRASSMENT - THEN DONT BE NEAR ME - Well -




She the started shouting at me - and ANYONE THAT KNOWS HOW THIS GOES - KNOWS - DONT - JUST DONT = I JUMPED UP - THANK GOD MUM HAD THE SENCE TO GET AWAY FROM ME - AND I JUST WENT TO THE DOOR AND LITERALLY PULLED IT OFF ITS HINGES - YEAH - THE WHOLE LOT - I WAS SCREMING AT MUM NOW - lmao - AND PLUCKING WOMAN SHE IS - SHE IS SHOUTING BACK AT ME - !! - I DID HAVE TO GIVE HER - HER DUE - SHE IS ALMOST AS FIESTY AS ME !! - BUT - I CANT AND WONT STOP - AND AS SHE SAW ME PULL THE DOOR - SHE WENT OUT THE FRONT DOOR - TELLING ME THAT THERE WAS A COFFEE ON THE SIDE AND TO TAKE A TABLET = I THINK " ***** YOU WAS MY PASSING REMARK ....... - I can see why they think im Psycho !!



Anyways - I got into bed - and that was it- I was asleep - and at 5pm Cassia phoned and woke me up - id been asleep 5 hours - straight off - My head was throbbing and I couldn't talk - but I was calmer - I txt mum and Tom and Cass - and they came over -

Chatted to Mum after Laughing and Being in Hysterics at An Idiot Abroad - and I think she can now see how I can go INTO ONE and OUT OF ONE so  so quickly - I cant allow it to take over my life - so - yeah ok - I have my 'Storms' ( Literally only happened because I had taken in far to much info and my head couldn't cope ) and as soon as I come out of it - IM ME AGAIN - AS IN THE VIDEOS - Other people cant switch as quickly as I can - and as Mum said - she isn't superwoman - If you have someone SCREAMING BLUE MURDER AT YOU - you are going to retaliate = and I do totally understand that - BUT - I CANT LET IT MAKE ME MOPE ABOUT AND BE UPSET THAT I TREATED HER AND THE KIDS AND THE BUS DRIVER SO BADLY - If I did do that - Id be admitting I had control over it- WHICH I DONT = But - I did apologise and Paid for dinner - and lunch and well - lamo - im loaded now as I have emptied my bank so - COFFEE IS ON ME !!



Now they have gone home - 8pm - They are ABSOLUTELY EXHAUTED = MUM EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY SHATTERED = and im up and awake and Blogging, Gogle'ing, YouTubing, Facebooking and everything - as my head is now on a roll and im totally hyper, MYSELF ?? - I don't know - Maybe a little bit OTT to be totally myself -  ........... at 11.19pm - SUCH FUN ......

That was a NORMAL day in the life of a PITUITARY BRAIN TUMOUR SUFFERER = easy for everyone hey !



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