Medical / Mental Matters = Community Comrades - Invisable illness !

I have Just seen a post on STREETLIFE

that has said there is
No Police Presence In the Bay -
WOW - That got me thinking -
( and that could be a disaster ! )







And i am going to share a few details with you guys -

You may wish to grab a Coffee an Digestive ! - I have a feeling it could be a long one !




I am up in Herne and this week alone i have seen 5 police cars - OK - they are driving past my house ;) - But so ......

OK People - You need to think !! =






My daft ex called them to me last weekend - Don't worry - I'm NOT a Bitter EX who is going to Rant and Rave about the guy - he actually is a nice decent fella - he just can't put up with my illness ! - so nope no dodgy slanging match i'm afraid !

I have an invisible illness - medical - not mental - ( I have a couple of Brain Tumors that have caused LOTS of other ailments ) and they make me sometimes look very Aggressive, Loud, Sweary, Sad, Suicidal, or - the other end of the spectrum - i get very hysterical - and find everything funny and i over exaggerate stuff !




Once medicated - it stops - The Tumors Shrink !

I am inoperable - So - Stuck like this now, But Thank God I am Positive and Confident and Outgoing and I Try ( I try - that's not, I'm trying ;) !! )

Anyways ...

So, back to the EX - Instead of telling me to medicate -

The EX ( of 20 married years ) sat in car antagonising me for 30 minutes ( Saying that he was worried ) - with all the doors and windows open !! When i could eventually get up - I slammed the door shut - complete with a few VERY LOUD expletives -
I apologise to all my neighbours !
( Well - Actually - i don't because i can NOT help it - or stop it )

When he eventually drove off - I could think and Medicated, then went to bed - lol - only to be woken up by police, who had walked in ( Complete with Large dog barking ! ) asking if
" Had i threatened to kill someone ? " - to which my reply was " -
" Yup - and if you had been here - i would have threatened you too " I don't believe in beating around the bush or lying - there is no point !

- But - It is all well and good saying these things - but never have i acted on anything - except towards myself ..... The Police were superb, let me get my words out - and waited until i could get downstairs ( I get very giddy and lose balance / Orientation ) - and then i explained the situation ..

Once I was able to tell them it was purely illness the reason i had 'exploded' and NO - I was not and am not a Menace to Society, ( Ohh - ok - Sometimes i am a little bit mischevious - but - never anything that requires someone to uphold the Law ! ) they were fine !
But - These Two Police Officers, They could not have been more helpful - understanding - empathic and non judgemental -

As it is - I don't go out without someone anyways just in case
- so yup - housebound ! - At 40






So - EX decides to call police to TRY to get me arrested for my behaviour - I was in no way worried about this - I can not be arrested for something out of my control - yes - they could have taken me in, to calm down - lol - but fact is - i had medicated and was calm - Just ill - and in fact - Taking me in when i am 'storming' would have made matters 100 times worse - I am aware of this - and have since asked that a file be opened and in it put to TELL ME TO MEDICATE - if my name ever comes up again !!

The meaning of this post !

The times I have been in Herne Bay - and had people stare ( OK - Now due to my Tumors I am huge in weight and don't shy away - so am usually dressed very brightly too - and on that note - i understand and am fine with people looking !! ) but I have actually had people point and whisper / snigger / laugh / or look very irritated when i have been taken ILL !

No - This is not paranoia !!

I am an Online Blogger / YouTuber and Try my Hardest -
To help others
To make others feel better about themselves.
Yet i seem to be faced with
RIDICULE FROM MY OWN COMMUNITY
- where i have lived for the last 40 years !!

Why can people - who have either known me by sight - or known me through someone else - not come up and chat to me -
I am very approachable and friendly - Yet - Instead of asking if i am ok - or asking what the problem is -

They chose to Stand and Point and Stare etc etc









I have been to Many Places -
Seriously Herne Bay is the worst I have encountered
BUT - I do believe it is because people have seen the change in me !!








Yes - it is unbelieveable, I have gone from Fairly shy and a larger than average weight - to being extrovert and hugely obese ..








BUT are we not meant to be a COMMUNITY ??
Are we not meant to help our own ?

Well - I'm sat here - with my ( Cough Cough = I will not mention age as she will kill me ! - ) Mother helping, as and when she can -
She is very well known about the town too !!
and - lol - I know i am not easy to work with if i am ill - ( Actually - I can be a right old cow ) but
when i am 'me' - lol -
omg - i even love myself








But - I hate being dependent on my own mother

Everyone THINKS i have 'a good support network ' and
YES I AM VERY VERY LUCKY -

I do have people who i can ring ( My Aunt and Cousin and BFF's ) - and people i can FaceTime with -
BUT - Is that enough for a 40 year old single parent of two BRILLIANT kids ??

I want to get out with people my OWN age - and meet people - and chat - BUT - no-body is available - ( does NOT help that i have an aversion to noise ( Even though i can make enough for everyone !! ) ohh and lights - ohh and lots of people are not a good idea - That is usually a trigger to set my head off !!




Mum is away next week - a few days - and Mum had to ask a friend of my daughter's, Parent, to take her to brownies -
Because -

I can't drive anymore, even though she kept telling me - i kept ignoring or forgetting to ask - and alot of you know - I was always about the town - either bombing around in my Red 'paws' Qashqui - that i love - Or on one of my Large Motorbikes - But Now - NOTHING ! ....

OK - Maybe this all sounds very self absorbed and very negative, But, It's NOT meant to be - There MUST be others out there - Like me - Who do not see anyone - yet - people THINK that they do !!

JUST THINK - The Mad Crazy Cat Lady from Up the Street - ( Ohh No - Thats me !)
When did you last see her ?
When did she last see anyone ?







COULD YOU NOT POP IN ON HER AND JUST SAY HELLO - She would probably love that !! ( Then she can stop trying to engage the poor young postman in conversation - and he can rest easy at night ;) !! = Oh sorry - that's me again !! )

Please take a second TO THINK when you are out and about - Erratic Behaviour is often caused by Medical or Mental issues - and
JUST A SIMPLE HELLO - ARE YOU OK
- Could be the thing that a person needs to help them out of their 'rutt' ....... NOT that it will cure - BUT IT COULD HELP !






OR MAYBE THINK ABOUT STARTING UP A GROUP / SOMETHING - TO GET THESE PEOPLE INCLUDED IN SOCIETY -








INCLUDED IN THE COMMUNITY !!!!


PEOPLE DON'T ASK - BECAUSE THEY DO NOT WANT TO BE A BURDEN -

SO STOP WITH THE - " WHY DOES SHE NOT ASK "











JUST THINK !!

Thank F**K it's FRIDAY !

Back soon for more Fun Abby Adventures ;) !!

Please excuse my intellectual ignorance and bear with me while i go into Tourettes Mummy Mode .....

WELL !!!!! - ....................... ( OK Deeeep breath here - Relax - No Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ing going on - ohhh ok - maybe just a little ) ........................

First night that the EX had kids last night - and all went WONDERFULLY - UNTIL, 10 Year Old Daughter rang me up - ' Mum you know Scarlett ?? ..... Yup - I know Scarlett - and then she TOLD me that she was going to see her NEW secondary school - with her friend Scarlett and Scarlett's mum and ( The EX ) Dad TOMORROW at 9am - and they could NOT pick me up - because - if they did they would then be late  ............ That was the almost EXACT telephonic communication that i had -

Well, Me being the Shrinking Violet that i am .... WENT DEMENTED and hit the roof !! -
THEN my illness kicks in ( must be due to the Huge rush of Cortisol ) and That's it - I was gone !! Screamed EVERYTHING at everybody and slammed phone down, then phoned Son and went mad at him - because he said it was all ok and it did not matter - then phoned EX who said he was not talking to me and He was doing more important things, as he had the kids round - and HE PUT THE PHONE DOWN ON ME
Please find below an EXACT copy of a text that i then sent

"As soon as YOU have the kids, then YOU start making decisions about MY CHILDREN without THEIR MOTHER.... THATS AS LOW AS YOU GET ... USING THE KIDS TO GET AT ME "

Well almost 19 hours later he STILL has not replied -



WELL - then went into manic fits of sobbing - what do i do ? -
PHONE MOTHER !! - Who was having Dinner with family - Well - 10 mins later she was round - Dad sat in Car - ( I saw him geting out - but - due to his Parkinsons - HE drives me Crazy when i am in a 'Storm' and so I SCREAMED at them from the open window - for dad to get back in the car - BLESS HIM - Back he shuffled !! - If ONLY he had a stash of Fudge in the Car - he would have been fine - and i would not have then spent the next HOUR worrying about him, and mum being here, Mum being Shouted at, Aunt n Uncle being left mid fish and chips - Peggaty The Dog Pacing because of all my shouting - and my Daughter - and my son and the next door Neighbours and the Fucking Man three doors down who keeps revving his Fucking Motorbikes Fucking Engine - with me in full knowledge that he DOES NOT NEED TO !! and Breatheeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!




Well - I Ranted for over an hour - Mum drank her coffee - Dad sat in Car - Dog Paced and people walked past - looked in - and got told to mind their own beep beep beep business !!! Beeping People !

OK - so - then Mum left - I had calmed down HUGELY ( only 9 Diazepam ) and I phoned Son - who said a lovely Goodnight - and also then Rang Daughter = Who also Said Goodnight ..... THEN I text Daughter to tell her that i wanted an EXACT rundown of the school and she was too take photos - and draw maps - and If there was any Hunky Men - then she was to pop the boot of the car and push them in !! - Being 'my daughter' she hangs onto the last remarks - and said that if there were any hunky men - then she would NOT be coming home - PMSL !!!! - She's ten !!!!! - OK - so - come to terms that i won't be going round my only daughter's secondary school with her to choose - BUT THE EX WILL ..... but - thats ok - as he has an appointment in Canterbury Tomorrow - so he can go to the school and then go to the Appointment -
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GREAT ! - AT LEAST ONE OF US CAN GO OUT WHEN EVER WE BLOODY WELL WANT !!

I think the word Bassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssstard was used here a few times - and yes - with added emphasis on the letter S !!




I REALLY have no idea what is going on - as ONE MINUTE the EX is lovely and saying he will help me do the figures and help do the garden and help with this and that - and next minute he is saying something different .......

I still swear he is not doing anything nastily - he just does NOT think, he REALLY is NOT a nasty person, and i still believe - ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh FFS maybe im stupid - But - I still believe we are friends ........... I REALLY DON'T EVER WANT ANYTHING FROM HIM AGAIN - But i would never see bad of him .... and i'm sure he would not of me .....

I did mention that if i made a decision to have said daughters Ears Pierced - as she is so desperate for without his consent - then HE WOULD NOT BE HAPPY ..... She is OUR daughter and this needs duel consent - surely ???? Then to add insult to injury - he says that if i want to go - then to go and have a look and ask for an appointment - KNOWING FULL WELL I CANNOT GET OVER THERE

well - I still, have not heard a thing - NOTHING - and

TO TOP IT ALL

Today is my Daughter's school fair - and i have no-body to take me - as Mum is in Canterbury with Aunt and well - No-body else is about, So the school Fair is on - ALL BLOODY WEEK I HAVE BEEN SENDING THINGS IN, every day AND GETTING DAUGHTER TO MAKE PRETTY JARS filled with goodies AND IM NOT EVEN ABLE TO GO !!! Every Fair I have made so far - and this one - HE can't even be bothered to ask if i want to go - OBVIOUSLY I WANT TO GO - but - due to my illness - i cannot drive any longer and I can't go anywhere without someone - incase i freak out - BUT I SERIOUSLY NOW BELIEVE THAT HE THINKS IM MAKING IT ALL UP - Even though he has been at every appointment with me ..... and KNOWS the score ....



Well - He is expecting to bring them back at 3.30pm - HAVE DINNER THAT HE EXPECTS ME TO COOK - and then HE is taking kids to Scouts and Skating - while i sit here twiddleing my thumbs, as i have since Weds -

THANK CHRIST I HAVE MOTIVATION TO BLOG AND DO YOUTUBE ETC - OTHERWISE I SERIOUSLY WOULD TOP MYSELF

ohh no - HANG ON -  i can do the washing up - OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BITTERNESS IS A BAD TRAIT !! - Must snap out of it !

Actually - Just instaled Instagram too - so i have been doing that and it's great - although i can't find out how to message people !! But - I have uploaded photos and well - thats about it really - i don't even know if i am meant to tag people in it - or what ?? I should read up about it really !

Ohh I have done ALL THE HOUSEWORK - and the kids have their school uniforms ready for next week done, and the garden has been de-pooed !!! DOG - WE HAVE A DOG !!

Ohhhhh and i have had 6 pints of coffee !! - and NO - MY HYPERACTIVITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH COFFEE - NOTHING I TELL YOU - NOTHING !!

But - and i have photographs to prove it now !! - I have come out in massive bruises and OMG MY BUFFALO HUMP HURTS - yes - i am the living breathing Quasimodo !! - I do have a Hump = But apparently - lots of people with Pituitary Brain Tumors / Cushings do ...... But - OMG Mine Hurts now ........ Really sore - inside it aches ... weird

OHHHHH WOW - NOW - YA SEE = THAT'S REALLY HELPED - I don't feel as though i am going to attack anyone - i do in fact think i wish to mow the lawn - BUT - as my arm is still killing me from the last attempt - i dont think this is a good idea - ohh and i am WAITING NOT VERY PATIENTLY for a guy to pop round to see my rubbish - i would rather him just take the bloody rubbish - rather than just see it - but  apparently - he has to quote ....  Im sure by the time he has looked - he could have had it in his van and taken it half way to the tip - but no - Mmmmmmm Thought goes into Quoting to take away rubbish  FFS !!! - Anyways - Thought he would be here before Lunch - and ok - it's only 2.30pm now - but = please it's friday - does anyone work beyond 2.30pm on a friday ??!! and daft thing is - anytime a bloody car goes past - i turn to see if it is him - and OUCH - it hurts to move my bloody head !!

LMAO - OK NOW IM PISSED OFF AGAIN

But - i did have a lovely surprise this morning - a delivery - from whom i do not know - of a lovely lovely - thought provoking DOORMAT !! - Now - this is not just any old door mat .... Please see photos !!

is'nt that wonderful !!!

So if DT comes to the door - he KNOWS im in !!

BRILLIANT !! - MOLTE BENE !! - ALLONSY !!- DON'T BLINK !! - I DON'T WANT TO GO !!
OHHHH DR WHO QUOTES - SORRY !!

Now i just need to know who sent it !!

But - quit while i'm ahead - !!!! 

TEXTING THOUGHTS - THE FUN IN TEXTING

Why is it - That some people - who don't understand HUMOR think that others, are then LESSER BEINGS, ALMOST STUPID, because they find buffoonery out of lots of different situations ..
I don't get it ... Why Belittle someone because YOU don't understand ??!!



I have MANY MANY MANY people say I am funny - and OK - I know i am !! -
Even I tell myself I am funny - and these other people are NOT all my mother - Noooooooo - They are a variety of different folks - all from different walks of life - and EVERYONE of them says - Uncatagorically - That - I am a Funny B.I.T.C.H !! -




NO NOT IN A LA LAA TYPE OF - CRAYONS AND LICKING WINDOWS TYPE OF WAY - But - I actually make them laugh !! Just with my Expression or Communication or The way i look at life !

Is it not better to make people laugh - THAN CRY !!




( Bugger me i am sure i can do that brilliantly too !! -
But - first and foremost I WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY - AND LOVED !  )


But  - I am just being myself - and i don't care what people think -
If i come over as stupid - then - so be it - but - I KNOW - and my closest know - that i am NOT !

OK OK - for example - I have just sent the following text - out of the blue - to about 22 people - Just to cheer them up - and that's all it was to do :

OMG You are in need of serious and Immediate actions, QUICKLY Hands on your head, Run to the second door on your left, Run Through, and shout " THE SEAGULLS HAVE LANDED, NO-BODY IS SAFE, WE ARE ALL DOOMED " ........

and that was it .....

Here is a mix of the reactions i received back -
That's alot of people who did not even have the courtesy to reply -

(1)
I'm come to the conclusion that you abs are one complete loon - but i would not have you any other way - unless you were wrapped up in bright red ribbon lmao

(2)
WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT

(3)
lmfao, you crack me up

(4)
WAS THIS MEANT FOR ME ?

(5)
WHY THAT ROOM ?? - Why not turn right ??

(6)
Please don't disturb me - I have meetings all day

(7)
Seagulls ? I don't live near the sea ??

(8)
I don't find that funny

(9)
Abby - Some of us are busy

(10)
I love you so much Abigail Barry - Thank You for being you !

(11)
lololol - You alright love ?





So - There you go - a real cross section - and all of these people KNOW me well !! -

so - WHY SEND MESSAGES saying -


It's not funny -
or I'm busy -

That just brings me down ! -

Pmsl ! - Instead -

Just Ignore the message - LIKE SO MANY HAVE - ( RUDE )
or - just send a smiley !! = that's nicer !!



If i receive a message that's not required - I BLOCK THE BASTARD

But - That's usually because the message is accompanied by a rather perverse picture of parts of that persons anatomy - and i don't mean his eye,
Well - Not eye in his head at any rate ..... But something is without doubt looking at me -
SO BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK !
That sort of behavior is NOT ACCEPTABLE in one's living room ! Thank you kindly very muchly !

ANOTHER GOOD WAY TO STOP SOMEONE TEXTING YOU - SEND THIS -




So - OK - I have been bored today - I did a YouTube Video this morning, and had just started to 'storm' -  BUT - even in that i'm laughing -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nH927Dx4RbA&feature=share

even finding the wrong words, i find funny - I do actually find my head hysterical -





I've called Derek ( The cat ) - sorry - Not THE CAT - But - one of two, of the best cats in the world !! - BENDER / or BARBERA / or / BENDALS - not meaning too - it just comes out - Rodney has been all sorts of names - No wonder they don't know if they are coming or going !! It does just come out - so very weird ... ( OHH DEARIE ME - THAT LAST SENTENCE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE !! - I JUST TYPED IT - HAS NO MEANING IN THIS SENTENCE AT ALL ! )

Ohhh texting - Thats what this blog is about !

Women text back almost immediately - or not at all - Simple as that ! 

I should re-iterate - Women - as in MY FRIENDS !!! -

Obviously you have some women who text when they are home from work - or some who just ignore - then pretend they did not receive the text,

" OHHH IT'S LOST IN CYBER SPACE "




( I'm SURE - that by now -
EVERYONE know that this DOES NOT HAPPEN ! -
and ignorance is being put into practice here ! )
Ohhhhh then you get the text that -

" OHH I DIDNT MEAN TO SEND THAT TO YOU !! " - SORRY



OHHHH YES YOU DID !!! = I'M NOT THAT DAFT - YOU JUST WANT ME TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE - BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL ME - LOL
But - That's ok - CAUSE IT'S FUNNY !



MEN ON THE OTHER HAND -

I have found - come in one of three varieties !!

THE IMMEDIATE TEXTER

A guy who will - without fail - Text you back - within minutes - and NO - they don't have to be Gay or without Job, or wanting you - They have just been brought up properly !

THE OCCASIONAL - WHEN I CAN BE BOTHERED - TEXTER

This texter is plain rude too - and is only using you to alleviate THERE boredom ...

ohhhh and the MOST VIOLENCE PROVOKING

THE TEXT then STOP texter ( With no word that they are going to stop ! )

WHY DO MEN DO THAT - IT IS SO IRRITATING !!

They will talk TEXT to you for ages - everything is going brilliantly - and both of you are having a good NORMAL conversation text session and then - BOOM - HE'S GONE - Usually Mid conversation - and if you hear from him again - then WOW - YOUR LUCKY - But - If i were you - I'D BLOCK THE BASTARD - Cause it's plain rude !

I CAN'T ABIDE RUDENESS !



Ohhh - I have just thought of a fourth = MY DAD !!

THE SIMPLE TEXTER

However long your message is - however heartfelt or disturbing - all 'this texter will reply is

K

But - You can NOT get angry with THIS person as they have TRIED their UPMOST to respond - and the K - Usually has taken a good ten minutes to find - and get on the screen - and then in fact SEND - so - NEVER BE ANGRY WITH THIS GUY ! = Bless him !! xx


OMG - I HAVE FORGOTTON THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE

THE DRUNK TEXTER - 

Male or Female

Brilliant - Just Brillyyyy ant !!! ;)

SOMEONE FOUND A FRIEND !!

THE UNDERSTANDING DRUNK TEXTER

THE PERSON WHO LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY

THE DRUNK WHO HAS FOUND SOMETHING HIGHER AND BETTER

THE TOO DRUNK TO KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING DRUNK

THE DRUNK MOTHER

OK OK - PEOPLE WHO ARE DRUNK COME IN FAR MORE TEXTING VARIETIES THAN NON DRUNK HUMANS !! and - actually - THEY ARE THE BEST - SO - EVERYONE KEEP DRINKING - YOUR BRILLIANT !!

BUT ABOVE ALL - REMEMBER

TEXTING IS IN NO WAY BETTER THAN FACE TO FACE -
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHUSH
OF COURSE IT IT - IT'S SO MUCH BETTER
YOU CAN TEXT WHAT YOU THINK
AND PEOPLE HAVE IT THERE TO LISTEN AND LEARN FROM !!!

But try to remember - TEXTING IS DANGEROUS / THINGS GET MISUNDERSTOOD !

ESPECIALLY IF I SEND THEM ;)