My World : Living with #animals - My #Morning - and it's not ...

My World : Living with #animals - My #Morning - and it's not ...: Awww BLESS - Rodney woke me at 5am for a hug - he needs hugs - he is precious !!  Yes - I am the sort of Furry Mother that has the animal...

Living with #animals - My #Morning - and it's not 9am yet !

Awww BLESS - Rodney woke me at 5am for a hug - he needs hugs - he is precious !! 
Yes - I am the sort of Furry Mother that has the animals with me as i sleep - ! - 
Then he got fed up after 27 mins of me being very uncomfortable with his bum in my face by turning round and 'passion' biting my hand - a little kiss later and he jumped off - i got back to sleep THEN The 'Toy' I thought Derek woke me up playing with - was actually a mouses head !! Nice - RIP Little Stuart 



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Then - Mother texts to reminds me of taking my tablets - so i decide that the world is against me now ( and actually think someone is walking towards my bed - muttering " Out or down! Here I come, with a sharp knife and a clear conscience! " - Yup - so up i get - eventually - 
OK - considering i am still on a Mattress on the floor - ( Even tho it is now refunded and a FREEEEE mattress - and VERY comfy ) But - getting my humungous - although has to be said very lovely and sexy frame from the floor is something that could be chronicled in it's own half hour documentary show Mmmmmm maybe narrated by David Attenburgh - If he is still alive - if not - Ohhhhh Tennant could do it ! LOVELY !! 






Anyway i have my own way of getting up - Please be aware that it is not all to do with my HULK - but because when i actually move - my head decides to stop - or my brain stops telling my feet what to do - so - anyways - i have devised a PLAN - i kneel on the mattress - feet on floor - put one foot in bent position and sing to myself 

Brace yourself here !! 

You are supreme the chicks'll scream for grease lightning  Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go

and by the end of the last GO - my bottom is in the air and i have gained momentum to STAND UP ! - 

YAYYYYYYYYY ERRATIC JUMPING AND EBULLIENT CLAPPING ALL ROUND FROM THE AUDIENCE OF DEREK AND RODNEY - Peggaty Does not really come upstairs anymore





 .. So - Down i went .....

Mmmm Funny smells - and a PeggatyPawz looking VERY Embarrassed - Then - out of the corner of my eye - a - ermmm - Nugget shall we call it - of Poo - and another - and another - and it went on - and on - all the way to the back door - Peggaty Had an accident - No Shit Sherlock - Mmmm - Well - Thats NOT STRICTLY TRUE NOW IS IT !! - There was - LOTS OF IT !!! EVERYWHERE ..
But - she can manage to almost assult me as she strained to propell herself into the conservatory to get the cat food left overs from last night - 
After eating this she THEN decides to go through to open door to the garden !!! 


NO MY FRIENDS AND TRUST LOVED ONES - it does NOT end there !!!




I manage to feed the cats with tiny meows from a sitting down Rodney and Derek being an absolute twit, running backwards and forwards at top speed because he is so so so excited at seeing the food fork ! ...... Well - i feed them - and Derek decides he does not actually want feeding and so goes out - Not " out out " - Just in the garden " out " Taking in the fresh breeze .... 
Walking back in the Kitchen - i notice the rest of the mouse that Derek had the head of - using as a football in my bedroom - Pick it up - throw in bin - sign of the cross - Stand Back - Step on Derek who had followed me - and was watching - Just watching - MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW - 




Out through the door at top lightening speed - Ohhh for the love of God - I go to back door - step in cat food bowl because PeggatyPawz has since Commando like snuck back in the conservatory - pushed Rodney out of the way - and is polishing off the aftermath of Breakfast - how one cat can make so much mess is nobodies business - anyways - food removed from bowl - I turn around to go back in - my foot slips from under me because it has a jelly like substance on it - smelling rather like salmon ( Felix i believe ) and i go Arse over Ample Tit to the floor - well - im sorry - but the first thing that springs to mind - " SHITTING ARSEHOLES " At the TOP of my voice - " FUCKING DOG " - Laughter from the fence - bugger - the door is not shut - I then start laughing - and have a lick on the nose from Peggaty !! - she always apologises !! - Ohhh NOW I HAVE TO GET UP ALL OVER AGAIN - Que - Grease Music

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OHHH LIVING WITH ANIMALS !!