Supermarket Delivery Shopping, Minions and a Pituitary Brain Tumour !!

I don't actually go " Shopping " anymore - if I want particular things - as I have a Pituitary Brain Tumour - acute social anxiety, and well - my head just kind of refuses to work and I end up buying anything - or just having a full trolley and walking out - LMAO - NO NO - NOT NICKING IT - but leaving the trolley as its all far to over whelming and just dumping and run!!! Lol - So - Now days I do the families shopping Online - and get it delivered - which is usually great !! = I do have the odd mishap - Like buying Lamb when I DONT AGREE IN EATING IT ! = AND DISHWASHER TABLETS - when I dont have a dish washer = It must be said I do have problems ordering the weeks shopping when I am In a Cortisol High or Low - BUT - this week I surpassed myself !!

MY ASDA DELIVERY HAS ARRIVED EVERYONE - meant to be here between 9am and 11am but 8.15am is ok with me !! = I think I must have been a tad odd ( Ohhh NOW NOW that's plain rude .. Be nice .. ) ok the oddness started at the 1 Banana - But ok Id suck that up - Ohhhhhhhhhhh Now STOP IT ! -

THEN TWO RED ONIONS - half a cucumber, and a whole bag of bloody GREEN peppers - I Hate green peppers .... That was it on the fruit and veg score - for a week - THEN frozen - Mash - and Jacket potatoes - PMSL - WHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - LMAO !!!! - That's it - No Meals !! - Ohh I did order 12 Cumberland sausages - Lovely !! - We can make those last no worries - Then OK - here it comes - Johnsons 12 packs of Baby wipes - TWELVE - I don't have a baby, and don't need 12 packs of wipes - esp for £14 - BARGIN IT MAY BE - BUT I DONT WANT IT = ( I buy the cheap ones ;) !! - do like to be fresh !! ) so - the LOVELY Asda man took those back, next Yogurts - well - we ALL LIKE A YOGURT ... But ... I have a WIDE RANGE now in my fridge, Muller, Aptimil, Lykos, Danone ( Bet you all said that in the advert voice !! ) and also Onken !! - that's a total of ABOUT 48 yogurts !!! All in varying Flavours - Quite looking forward to trying the Hazelnut one !! ;) .... ok - ALL THIS YOGURT AND We'll need the loo = OMG - so the TWO TOILET ROLLS I ORDERED WILL BE PLENTY !! FFS !! ...... AND I SENT THE BLOODY WIPES BACK - ARGHHHHHH !! But ohh no - that's ok - I also received 6 packs of LEMON - Multi purpose Surface wipes - phew - that's ok - It's a surface isn't it ?? Lemoney !! - Fresh !! = NICE !! ......... ohhhh and a NEWSPAPER ??????????????????????????????????? - and to make matters worse was a trash one !!  lmao - OK OK - Maybe I need help with the shopping now ?? ............

Ohhhh and I never forget the time I spotted a Tony the Tiger Dressed up in Asda and OMG I actually started crying - Could NOT cope with that at all - I have a weird and wonderful thing where I have a Phobia - and OMG yes it is a phobia of people dressed up - I have even put my 12 year old daughter between me and a Cyberman before now - and I cant even go to Carnivals anymore as they freak me out !! Mmmmmm That was a random sentence - but that's just me - a tad random !!! ;) ...

OMG I have even walked out and left my own kids alone in Tesco before now if I come over all funny !! - My head totally stops - so Bizarre .. I just walk out and go sit in the car - usually in floods of tears !! NOT unhappy - It just comes all over me ! .......

AND DONT MENTION Minion Play !! = OMG _ I actually spent 30 mins at the Toy ailse - re arranging and PLAYING with the new intake of Minion Stock - and OMG I had a ball !! TOTALLY looked care in the community = But - OMG They were soooooooo cool !! I did just stand there and copy their voices and walk them about and Line them up,  Didn't buy any as I would get NOTHING done in a day !!

Ohhhh the other ODD thing I do - if I am on a Head Moment - I follow people - Doesn't always have to be people I know either - BUT - more often than not it is !! - BUT - I have been known to play " Stalker" with customers - ITS SOOO FUNNY !! - And freaks people out !! .........

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh and its always funny to talk very loudly about breasts in the Meat isle - People get sooo shy around Breast Talk !! = So - Engage where you can !! ;)

Ermmmmmmmm Always ends in a coffee - as I usually need a sit down after I have been to a supermarket - BUT NOW U MAY UNDERSTAND WHY I DO INTERNET SHOPPING !! XXX

Wingham WildLife Park Day out with the kids and EX - Harry Potter and Boy George On a CORTISOL HIGH from Pituitary Brain Tumour !!

omg omg omg - what a superb fun fantastic and happy SUNNY day with the kidsters and the EX -

 

Let's start at the very beginning, A very good place to start,When you read you begin with A-B-C,When you sing you begin with do-re-mi, Doe, a deer, a female deer,Ray, a drop of golden sun
Me, a name I call myself, Far, a long, long way to run, Sew, a needle pulling thread .. OK OK - I WONT GO ANY FURTHER - But - I so could ;) !! .... and you ALL know you are singing now don't you !!! ;) - SORRRYYYYYYY !!

Well Cassia ( Age 9 ) came into my bedroom ( Sleep last night was 11.36pm till 3.02am - FACEBOOK = 4.33am till 6am - FACEBOOK - 6am - 7am ) She woke me up by a kiss on the nose - which is better than the usual get nose to nose to me and WAIT - I open my eyes and then have a VERY LOUD Heart Attack, Swear LOADS, and tell her she is a little bitch - she of course is in ABSOLUTE HYSTERICS and almost wetting herself laughing = ok ok - this is the sort of thing I do - and she is only copying - BUT When in such close proximity to a Crazed woman with Unoperable ( or should that be Inoperable ?? ) Pituitary Brain Tumour - You DONT WANT TO AGGRIVATE ME !! Anyway anyway I digress - she woke me and Immediately said - " Shall we go to WingHam Wildlife Park today " ...... well - that was enough - I was up and dressed and Make up on - ( Not too much as it is just a zoo - and the animals don't mind if I look like crap !! ) Coffee made and sat down ready and waiting for Tom - Also Posted on Facebook my wonderful intentions for the day - all within 10 minutes !! = Im soooooooooo Superwoman.com !!!

Took Tom about 30mins to get ready ( he is 12 ) and then we sorted the PeggatyPawz out ( dog ) and talked - OHHHH THIS MAKES ME MAD !! - I WANT TO GO - AND GO NOW = and if they wernt open - I would scale the fence !! I was ready and RARING TO GO !! ... So we left eventually as people couldn't put up with my moans - and went on way to McDonalds - Ohhhh Sausage and Egg McMuffin, and a coffee - Perfick ! - The others had FULL Breakfast Wraps - and God alone knows how they could still move, let alone RUN back to the car.... Ohh this is after the air hand dryer made me almost loose my breakfast as it turned on so fast and gave me the fright of my life !! Yes - This is a normal occurrence - I get scared and am jumpy all the time - its a cross I have to bear !! - Ohh thing is - when I jump - I go all Tourette mummy ( What the Kids Nickname is for me ) as I cant think or speak normal words for a while = Been told this is due to the Pit Enlarging soo much and pressing on bits of my brain that it shouldn't = BUT - then  I calm down - and it all goes ok again !! Anyways Back to the car and Drive to Wingham - OMG OMG - I CAN SEE THE ENTRANCE !!!! .......

OK - NOW - THIS IS ALLLLLLL VERY EXCITING ... Please imagine a 40year old but acting like a 6year old - but that's ok - IM HAVING FUN FFS !!! - well - we get to the front door and pay - me giving the Ex Alan Evils as he gets me to pay with the family money - rather than coming out of business money - BUT - that's ok - Soon forgotton ! - I SEE WOLLLFFFFFFSSS - HOWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL - omg and they actually walked right next to us - 3 of them - and were so cute - AND NO TOM THEY WOULD NOT RIP YOUR THROAT OUT - They are Cute and Fluffy and needed an Abby Hug, anyways, stayed there a while watching and saying hello x 3 everytime they walked past - Well - Rude NOT too, then got dragged away and next we went to see Owls - Mmmmm - NOT impressive - NOT bovvered by owls !! Birds - Mmmmm - B.O.R.I.N.G !!! - NEXT OMFG I SEE AN OTTER ! = ARGHHH THREE OTTERS = AND OMG THEY ARE PLAYING - TOM, CASS - QUICK HERE - HERE - LOOKEY AT DA BUBBY OTTERS PLAYING = Mmmm Then Tom started going on about " cute Aggression " and I said rubbish - no such thing = never heard of it - well this convo/shouting match lasted about 10 mins and he finished with " Mum - Its like when you go all ohh its so fluffy and I want to hug it and squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze it and ohh its soo cuddly " and I said ohh yeah I do do that - He looked at me - " That's Cute Agression " - OHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH I GET THAT ;) - Well - why he couldn't say that in the first place I will never know !! anyways - Flamingo's next and Tom went off on one about the Pink Colour and how they are actually grey = Then discovered that we were actually in the walk in encloseure and OMG MUM - YOUR NOT MEANT TO GO OVER THE ROPE - Ohhhhhh RULES RULES .... But Mr Flamingo DIDNT want to come and say hello = and I must say I was a tad relieved as FUCK HE HAS A BIG BEAK !! any way - out of the Flamingo's now - and walked past Monkeys and Gibbons, and a few Lemurs, and onto the petting zoo - Yawn - this was going to be boring but HAVE to do it as Cassia loves that kind of thing -

OMG OMG OMG - WE walked in , only ones there - and a Wallaby - A BIG white FLUFFY one, Bounced up, a really cute deer thing with tincy antlers and OHHH MY DEAR LORD ABOUT 6 BABY GOATS - ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH - AND THEY ALL WANTED A CUDDLE ( Feel slightly mean now that we didn't get any food at the start = But da Bubbies didn't know that did they ;) !! mwahahahahahah !! - ) OMG - They were so friendly and fluffy and cute - and Cassia " Bonded " with the odd deer thing, and she was thrilled = well - we were here for at least 30 mins, Alan was in hysterics as we apparently were very loud ( OK I was very loud ) and a Gibbon had moved from his cage at the back and sat right at the front to sit and watch us - Alan said it honestly looked as if HE was watching us and not the other way round - well - I wasn't watching him anyway - twas watching the goats and things !! anyway - Bet your all thinking it gets no better = YOU'D BE WRONG !! W stroked - Yes STROKED the fluffy antlers of a ReinDeer - well this is where he goes when off work - he was a tad large - but - all good he was lovely !! Ohhhh then saw a whole host of different animals - The meercars OBVIOUSLY had to set myself Cass and Tom off into a round of " Steve, Allannnnn, Dave, Steve - Steve - Alannnnnnnn - " and ok we found it funny - Not anyone else was laughing - OHHH SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO SENCE OF HUMOUR !! Ohhh and they came up and are very rough - No I don't mean that they asked to take us out - there fur is very course, Mmmmm YES OF COURSE WE WERE ALLOWED TO STROKE THEM !! As if we would do something we wernt allowed ...
OK - Next into the Reptile House - Oooooooooooo Its Dark and smells - Mmm - Much like Toms Room ;) ! - so used to that - walked in and immediately saw a Huge Boa - Beautiful - well of course Being HUGE Harry Potter Fans Cassia and I can speak Parcel Tongue Parseltongue is the language of snakes and those who can chat with them. An person who can speak Parseltongue is known as a Parselmouth.

Apparently It is a very uncommon skill, and is typically hereditary. Anyways - Cass and I started chatting to this HUGE Boa, It went something like this ( we are not good enough to do it via telepathy yet, so it is all done via sound ) Hathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh paaaaaaaaa seeeeeeeeeeee hassssssssssssssss moiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii weeeeeeeeeeeee whwwwwwwwwwwwww ppppppppppppppppp aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhdooooooooooooooooooooo sssssssssssssssssssssss - Then the reptile keeper came up to us and stated that the snakes in Wingham are NOT under the law of " He who must not be named " - and would we PLEASE stop talking in Parcelmouth as it is disturbing the children ..... B.O.R.I.N.G
Ok - next we saw Tarantulas and gekhos, and a whole bunch or horned toads, and Crocs and Alligater ( How do you know the difference between Crocadiles and Allligaters - WELL - Your going to see a Crocodile - in a while - and and Alligater - LATER - BOOM BOOM !! Thank you - im here till Thursday !! ) ok the only other noteable thing was the Charmeleon ... ok - he was cute - BUT Tom and I did a rather wonderful rendition of Karma Charmeleon - Boy George, Eat Your heart out ... Karma karma karma karma, karma chameleon, You come and go, you come and go, Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream, Red gold and green, red gold and green - Ohhh YOU WISH YOU WERE THERE DONT YOU !! - We were Marvellous ....

OK - Coffee and Lunch - all im saying £36 for Burger and small chips and coffee and flavoured water - * COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH !! * Picnic next time !!! Ohh they also had a HUGE indoor soft play area that cass loved - Tom far to grown up for it - and my head was a bit whizzy so I didn't go on either - but apparently the slides are FAB and I would have loved it ;) !
anyways - now onto TIGERS

 ( My Absolute Fav- but - sadly they wernt doing a lot today ! ), CHEETHAS, LYNX, LEOPARD, and the LIONS = ( http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/new-lions-at-wingham-park-a66982 ) Now - these Lions had been rescued last year from a crap zoo / fairground in France and when we saw them last year they looked terrible - really upset and depressed and hid in the corner - but OMG THE CHANGE IN THEM - They looked so relaxed and happy - lounging on their platform - actually so relaxed that one had its head on the other - ohhh was a delight to see = really was - cheered me up no end as last year they were so upset and really needed councilling, now they just looked Magestic - The effort and work put into the rescue and rehabilitation was soooo worth the transformation in these beautiful creatures.
OK - Tired now - VERY VERY TIRED, head BANGING, not really able to say too much as I couldn't think - and eyes a tad - ok VERY blurey - kept tripping over my own feet - so the ex knew I had had enough EXCITEMENT for the day - and we headed to the exit - OMG - A WALKIN LUMUR ENCLOSEURE - ARGHHHHHHH HAVE T GO IN THERE - well stood for about 30mins ( Alan outside - Don't know why ) and Cass and I and Tom all stood waiting .... Hoping .... Praying and then OMG A BABY one = awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww - and then there was a fight and a Lemur jumped over the posts and ACTUALLY JUMPED ON ME, AND RAN OVER ME - AND JUMPED ONTO CASSIA AND THEN FELL - ARGHH OMG - CASS WENT TO CATCH IT AND THE KEEPER SHOUTED " DONT TOUCH HER - SHE BITES - LMAO - ANYWAYS - OMG That was a fab ending - Walked to the end and Bought season tickets - WORTH EVERY PENNY !!!

HOME - SLEEP FOR THREE HOURS AND NOW BLOGGING MY DAY BEFORE I FORGET   

Music - Spotify - Facebook groups - Animals - Brain Tumour - BBW AND DAVID TENNANT !!!

Well - Goooood morning - ohhh lmao - started and have only just seen the time - it's 1pm - ok - GOOD AFTERNOOON !!!! - and it's Friday - Whewww Whewwww - Nearly the weekend - and that makes absolutely no difference when all days roll into one - Well - I started this morning in floods of tears - " - No-One understands me - No-one wants me " and OMG then Cassia ( My 9 year old ) Comes into my room - gives me a hug and then she, Tom ( My 12 year old who isn't talking to me atm as He cant cope with my CONSTANT mood swings ) and my EX - Who I live with - all went out and went swimming - So - Up I get and do housework and Ohhhhhhhh Sorted - Feel ok now - MUSIC - lmao - I have JUST discovered Spotify - and have my own compliation on there ranging from Radiohead to Les Mis and ELO to Big Band and Frank Sinatra !! But - It HAS to be MY MUSIC - lol - If I don't like the choice of song - OMG - That can send me into a Tizzy !! = Tizzy Putting it very very gently ! - Its utterly ridiculas - Most people would think im a spoilt bratt - lmao - IF ONLY !! But If I cant listen to it - It sets my head off = and - NO-ONE WANTS TO SEE THIS !!

Brilliant - Cheered me up no end - and now - WHEWW WHEWWWW - Im ready for anything - lmao - So sat here - singing - being Nutty !! - BEST WAY TO BE - well - ok - in my mind !!! ... and I have to apologise to Cassia - although - she always KNOWS what I mean - - Typical Conversation - " - Cass = Whats that song I like - you know - I cant remember what it is called, or who it is by, or what it sounds like - BUT - It  has the word reason in it ... " - - Yeah Mum - That ' Just give me a reason by Pink " - AND OMG SHE IS RIGHT !!!!! Always Right - !! the kid is amazing !!! lol - not always the word 'Reason' - It could be ' it starts with a C - Or it goes a bit like this - ( And ok - I don't have the best singing voice - im defo no singing angel !! ) But - She always Knows - a tad worrying that Cassia is on MY  wave length !! = A bit worried now actually !!

Facebook - Mmmmm Been on Facebook now for years - and love it- totally get carried away with it and recently - ok - within the last few months - Ive been posting LOADS of Selfies- and Joined loads of Groups = The first ones I started were ones to do with my Head - Brain Tumour Groups and Pituitary Groups- and these arnt depressing or people being all negative - I have found lots of friends there and people I can depend on - and they can depend on myself too ( Ohhh that's not proper English is it- but u know what I mean !! ) - People who have illness OFTEN find that they have no-one to chat to - and on here there is always SOMEONE !! - I can wake at any time of the day or night and there is always someone to chat with and - with my illness OMG I can talk and talk and talk - lol ok nearly always about myself - BUT I do try to listen too !! - and NOT STOP for hours- I wear people out - lmao- but never myself - It is a nightmare for Everyone I live with - lol - I just forget that I have already told them certain things - and end up telling them about 4000 times - ( Ohh exaggeration - lmao - that's another thing I do - ohhh if I have told you once - ive told you 4 billion times - DONT EXAGGERATE !! )

The Next Set of groups I have joined are BBW ( That's Big Beautiful Women to you !! ) and OMG - Now I know the reason im a BBW - I flaunt it !! ;) ( Ie - due to my illness I have hardly any metabolism and my Thyroid is non existant - and my body has put itself into famine mode - so everything I eat - I store !! )  - Im Proud of who I am - and what I look like - ok - Mum calls me a chav - lmao - BUT - I am Unique and Follow MY  OWN STYLE - a tad excentric maybe - but - Im Me - and will now always be the same !! I am NO shrinking Violet - I do like my BRIGHT CLASHING colours and Bubbly personality - when im me !! ;) - Ohhh I have gone off on one again - lol - GROUPS - BBW - I love em - They have given me confidence and a whole new set of friends - and YES they are friends - we chat and exchange views and pictures and well - details about life - Lots of the girls are very disillusioned about their weight - and I try my hardest to help and Make them enjoy and see what I see - JUST FANTASTIC LOVELY FUNNY WOMEN WHO HAVE PERSONALITY AND ATT.I.TUDE and SEXY CURVES IS A BONUS - The men in the groups are lovely - They all compliment and just make everything right that is wrong with the uncivalised world that is around us at the moment - All these guys are just themselves and appriciate a curvy woman, There is NOTHING pervy or anything SEXUAL about the BBW groups - ( That's the OTHER ** Cough Cough ** Groups that I belong too - but I WONT be mentioning THOSE here ;) !!! hahahaha lmao !! Now that's got my Mother worried !! ;)  )

The next thing I like to do - is follow animals - lmao - NO I DONT MEAN I PICK AN ANT OR A CAT AND FOLLOW IT- Wally - ;) - ( Although if I see a cat - I have been known to stop the car - Get out and say hello !! = Well - rude not too !! = ohh and Dogs I wil always say a quick hello to - Unless it is a Breed I really like - and THE it could get a bit scarey as I often end up kissing THE DOG - and hugging it - lmao - ONG - HOW CAN YOU NOT !!! = I have been growled at a few times - and the Chinese Guy in Herne Bay doesn't quite know how to take me when he tells me that His Jap Akita is a Biter - and Growls at me - and I still approach him to say hello as he is such a cutie !!! = THE DOG NOT THE MAN ! = He wont bite - he is a softie - LMAO - Ohhhh don't say a word - I know I know !! - For those that are interested - I have usualy owned German Shephers - Long Haired - Although My PeggatyPawz Now is a LHGSD x Retriever - BUT- The Breed id LOVE to own - If I got better and could look after it properly is a Russian Causican Shepherd - It's Russian and a Huge Giant Breed that needs LOTS of training and Stimulation - So - Once I am sorted - that's is what im getting - Picture below !!

I take an interest on facebook or pinterest ( OMG Am I the ONLY person that cant pronounce that ?? ) - check out Abigail Barry on Pinterest ! = and love to see all the little faces looking at me - and I like to follow rspca and world wildlife fund - etc etc - Gives me up to date stuff to talk about and BORE THE LIFE OUT OF PEOPLE WITH !! - I do have an opinion on most animal related things - even if I know nothing about it - lol - But ALWAYS in the animals best interest !! = and woe betide anyone who posts pics of Animal Cruelty - Ohhhh - There is one subject that leaves me speechless ( and as you have probably guessed - there is NOT a lot that does that = ohhh  David Tennant - theres another speechless Moment - Hang on while I take five ! ) LMAO - The times Tom has come along behind me and asked- " What HAVE you put into Google to get those images up - lmao - and OMG the last few have been , Sexy David Tennant - BBW are BIG and Proud - Laughing Cat - Cute Animals - Firemen WITH THEIR TROUSERS ON ( lmao - I added the last bit for the sanity of my mother !! ;) !! ) and Illness funny -

Mmmm - Just put random things into google images and all sorts come up  - ohhh DONT BE RUDE !!! - I have filtered myself- and only have NICE images - ohhh ok - I did take the Filter OFF when searching David Tennant - ohhhhhhhhhh - Id love to search David Tennant =

He was and always will be THE BEST DOCTOR WHO - ( Sorry Nick ;) !! I know your reading ! - Bless you - Your my only mate that does !! ) But DT as 10 - Ohhh - Quivvers ....and believe me or believe me not - but that little sentence has just taken me fourty five minutes to do as I had to seach for DT Pictures and OMG THERE ARE SO MANY !! - AND I COULDNT DECIDE !! Ohhh - BTW Im sat here at my computer next to a 6ft David Cardboard Cut Out and a DT Cushion opposite ( Ohh I love saying  " David Stop throwing yourself at me " When the cushion falls off the sofa ! ) Ohhhh Ive gone off on one again !! I was meant to be talking bout animals - but - Ive had enough now - havnt eaten yet today and im a tad hungry !! Best have some Toast !!! Yum Marmite !! Love it or Hate it - AND I LOVE IT !! But that's not a good ending to this Blog - Mmmmmmm- Naa cant think of anything - so I will find ANOTHER CLIP ART PICTURE and post that !! - THE END !! ;) X

 HAD TO FINISH WITH D.T DIDNT I - JUST LOOK AT THAT FACE !!! ;) XX

School Holidays, Kids are BORED.COM, PTSD and a Pituitary Brain Tumour ! ARGHHHH !!

OMG - OK - I know I say that a lot - but perleasee - OMG - Shut the F**k Up !! - Being Pituitary Dodgy - as I like to call it ( See Brain Tumour Blog ! ) I have NO Patience, and No tolerance - ( lmao - ok is that the same thing - head on a non working day today - lmao - as most others !! ) and I hate Noise or Unsettledness or ANY FORM OF STRESS AT ALL - Unless Im causing it - Ohh there is honesty for you !!

The Kids are off school, ( Easter Holidays ) and well - the ex has done FANTASTICALLY with them - taking them to James Bond Exhibitions in London and Chessington World of Adventures with his crumbling spine - lmao - a great time has been had - me - Well - I sit here and Blog or Facebook, because of the Social Anxiety I have I cant manage to Get out and about as much as I want, BUT - That's cool - I have met some wonderful people online, Many of which ( lol - ok ok - well about 10 !! ) who have become very close friends and are dependable - and first and foremost they GET ME !! - Cause omg - most people don't - Because I can say something - lol - and even I don't believe what I said !! - Total rubbish !! - BUT - These people Know not to listen and they ignore me if I go into one or go off on one, as I also Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Squirrel - lol - Just like that - I get distracted very easily ! - ohh god and bored !! - I can get so bored - lol - and - I think I have just proven - just in this statement - what I can be like - my mind works at 1000 times the speed it should - and I just go with it - Now - Ive forgotton what I was on about in the first place - lmao - Thank God I find myself funny - Cause it would drive people MAD !!!!

OK - KIDS - lol - They have been good - as far as kids not becoming bored go - they do occupy themselves - and are not the kind of kids that sit inside on Xboxes ( Well not all the day ! ) - lmao - and seeing whats happening at the moment is hysterical and throws that whole sentence out the window - as it is 11.33am and Tom Is JUST up - He is 12, and Cassia is 9 and making a Vanilla Iced CupCake - from Mix - Dear olde Betty Crocker !! - Cassia is in her element - and LOVES anything hands on - Art Crafts and Painting etc - she wants to be a Architect when she is Bigger ( Well - To be honest - her fist answer was and I think will always be ' I want to be a Penguin ' ... Mum - You'd wanna be a Penguin Too wouldn't you - when you grow up ? " - yeah - she was serious !! But eventually got round to an Architect !! so - cool - she wont be locked up -

I definitely think Cass takes after me !! ) and Thomas - Well My Tom is just Such a Fantastic Kid - He has had a lot to put up with - as he is very hormonal atm - and if I start - he then gets VERY angry with me - and it does and has got nasty - Because - Because of my head - if I feel 'attacked' or feel I have to justify myself - well - I go HULK !! = and there is No Coming back from it unless I medicate !! If someone comes at me - GOD HELP THEM - AS I DONT AND WONT BACK DOWN ! - This is NOT " ME " - I have never been in a fight or even thrown a punch in my life - well before I was diagnosed with this blinking Tumour, I was always very shouty but would never go any further - rather walk away - Now - I CANT WALK AWAY .... I FIGHT.... Fight or flight certainly is the case with PTSD and A Pit Tumour - OHHHHHH - Ive gone off on one again !! - ermm - Tom wants to be a astrophysicist - NOT a penguin !!! - lol - He is at Grammar school and excelling in everything and has been put in Gifted and Talented in 4 subjects - and has been asked to join a Rugby Org near us as he excels in that field too !! This isn't a mother being all OTT about there kids - Tom really is a nice lad - down to earth and friendly - lol - VERY Friendly and confident and very Practical !! ... He does NOT take after me !!! ;) So Kids are well rounded and Happy - God knows how living with a nutty mother - lmao - but - they are !! and They are Fabulous and Im VERY proud of the way they deal with things -
Until it comes to LONG periods off school - OMG = Then all hell could break loose !!

Anyways - Its tough not being able to do stuff with them - But - I don't have any guilt - maybe its just the way my head works - But - Im more upset at being left out ... But - at least the Ex is there to do stuff with them - and the kids don't miss out !! - and they do come home and tell me all about there day - so all good !! - I have probably Zoned out on the computer, I could spend 8 hours sitting in front of it and forget EVERYTHING - The Loo - Drinks, Meals, The dog - EVERYTHING - It really is most bizarre, I even forget who ive spoken to and what I have said - lol - if anything bad I usually get told and have a txt on my phone to tell me to apologise or explain what I mean !! - lmao = QUICKLY !! - But - All good !!

The weird thing is friends and family - Well Mum and dad are good and if I need them they come round  and Mum and I go out on a Tuesday - ohhhhhh hang on - this has nothing to do with the kids - so not relevant - going off into one again !!! pmsl - ohhhhhhhhh Squirrel !! ........................ xx

Ermm- That's about all I can think of to write atm - so I will leave it at that - nothing very funny there - sorry !! = But - That's day to day life - I should write down the funny things that happen - as it is all the time - but - I can never remember !!!

CUSHINGS AWARENESS DAY - PITUITARY BRAIN TUMOUR - PTSD - POSITIVITY PEOPLE !!

WELL - HAPPY CUSHINGS AWARENES DAY TO ONE AND ALL !!

April 8th is the birthday of Dr Harvey Cushing (1869-1939) who described the disease that goes by his name in 1932: Cushing’s Disease. There is a push to have this day named as the National Cushing’s Awareness Day. For now, it is simply Cushing’s Awareness Day – a day to bring attention to this disease ( The HULK - is a great comparision - he changes so so quickly - and his rage is uncontrollable - Much like a Pituitary Patient suffering from Over Cortisol Exposure ! )

Apparently CUSHINGS and Pituitary Brain Tumours are all very rare - BUT - I have met some of the best people and the lovliest friends because of my Pit Tumour ! - and - well - To me it doesn't seem all that rare - there are LOADS of us with Brain Tumours - OK - Now a lot SUFFER = Ohhhh - Sometimes I put myself in the category, and sometimes I don't - TODAY = Im feeling good - ( Although when I rang my mum this morning in a Cortisol LOW u would have begged to differ - funny how we all go back to our mothers in times of trouble ! - Sorry Mutti !! Ohh and im NOT German - my Mut - HATES being called Mum so made my brother and I from the very beginning call her Mutti - and yes - you can imagine the stick we get !! )
Anyway - due to excessive Cortisol in my blood - I have up's and downs - and NOT in a fun way !! BUT - This is NOT cushings - I DONT HAVE CUSHINGS although - at first - I was told I did !! = BUT My symptoms are if not the same - then VERY SIMILAR = I just CANT be operated on - due to a Cyclical ( Comes and Goes ) Pituitary Tumour on the Stalk - and the excessive amount of Pressure in my head due to a dodgy Amygdala Gland .. causing PTSD ..... So Fun can be had on certain days !!! But My Belief is POSITIVITY goes along way - Keep Calm and Be Positive - SMILE and the world smiles back at you - ( Mainly cause they think your a Loon- But - IM NOT - MY DOC SAYS SO !! ) ...

ANYWAYS - Today is Cushings Awareness Day and a few of my GOOD AND ID LOVE TO CALL THEM CLOSE FRIENDS have had this awful disease - But - They are Operated on and in full remission - Now- I have to bring into the story - the TV Series HOLBY - Dr Elliot Hope was diagnosed with a Pit Tumour and Cushings Disease all within about 3 episodes - and within a few weeks - of MAJOR Brain Surgery - He was back to work - THATS NOT HOW IT HAPPENS !! - Pit Tumours can take Years to Diagnose - Mine took about 7 years I think = Mainly cause mine is cyclical - But once found - the Dr's knew what to do - I had Blood Test After Blood Test and that's how they ruled out Cushings - I still secreat Cortisol = BUT - Not at the levels of a Cushings Patient -

Signs and symptoms of Cushing’s Disease vary, but most people with the disorder have upper body obesity, a rounded face, increased fat around the neck, and relatively slender arms and legs.
Other signs appear in the skin, which becomes fragile and thin, bruises easily, and heals poorly. Purple or pink stretch marks may appear on the abdomen, thighs, buttocks, arms, and breasts. The bones are weakened, and routine activities such as bending, lifting, or rising from a chair may lead to pain, giddiness, backaches and rib or spinal column fractures.

Women with Cushing’s Disease usually have excess hair growth on their face, neck, chest, abdomen, and thighs. Their menstrual periods may become irregular or stop.... There are also Problems with Concentration, Mood Swings, Social Anxiety and  These are just a few of the symptoms that I can remember at this time - Men and Children also suffer from the disease and their symptoms vary greatly ....

Diagnosis is based on a review of a person’s medical history, a physical examination, and laboratory tests. X rays of the adrenal or pituitary glands can be useful in locating tumors.
Treatment depends on the specific reason for excess cortisol and may include surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, or the use of cortisol-inhibiting drugs.... Doctors say that it is very unusual that Cushings can return - I know two people - so far - in my small group of Friends - where it HAS IN FACT RETURNED ......

YOU KNOW YOUR OWN BODY - FIGHT - LITERALLY FOR YOUR LIFE - as Doctors Believe that Cushings and Pituitary Tumours are SO RARE - THAT YOU MUST BE OVER EATING AND NOT EXCERSISING - and that's why u are Over Weight - They often don't take into consideration your other symptoms - Doctors have even offered Cushings and Pit Tumour Patients the " Opportunity " to be fitted with Gastric Bands - I for one am over 20 stone - and this would NOT help me to loose weight - as I DONT OVEREAT - My body is in Famine Mode !! ........ Wouldn't it be lovely if that could solve 'that' part of the problem !! ID JUMP AT IT !! - But - It's NOT that easy !! -

 Yes Yes - My fridge has eyes !! - I got bored !!

Even with 4 MRI's showing up my Pit Tumour, I still have GP's and a few Consultants saying I need Therapy and CBT Councilling and, I have had a Psychiatrist say to me CATAGORICALLY = I am a Medical Patient and NOT a Mental One - and have even had him ask me to be referred to a Grade 6 Neuro-Psychologist for further Study and Help - due to the UN-CONTROLLABLE RAGES that I get in - BUT PURELY MEDICAL !! - lol xx

Anyways = Theres a little into the insight of CUSHINGS and Pituitary Patients - There is so so much more - but - yawwnnnnn - im tired now !! Ive been thinking too long !! Have a Fab Day and remember  Cushing's Disease is often misdiagnosed or goes undiagnosed for years before receiving the correct testing and treatment. Sadly, left untreated, the result is death as all body systems are adversely affected, BUT ... Pituitary Tumours are often Benign and NOT LIFE THREATENING - Make sure you get the CORRECT Diagnosis .....

ME AND MY BRAIN TUMOUR SYMPTOMS ( APPARENTLY PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND ME ! )

HAHAHAHAHAH - OMG This does just make me laugh - People DONT GET ME !!! - I really am the MOST open / honest and and bloody adorable person that walks this planet ! = Well - That is when im ME - Because = I have a Pituitary Tumour - Yeah - that's in the Brain - Just behind the eyes - and OMG it causes me LOADS of problems !!! hahahahaah - But - Im still Positve, im Funny and Im Unique and I DONT ACTUALLY WANT SYMPATHY - so - why people think I do is beyond me !! - But - well - its easy - I have a Pituitary Tumour on the Stalk of the Pit Gland, Mixed this with an Enlarged Pituitary and a Damaged Amygdala ( Yeah that's at the back of my head and causes Post Traumatic Syndrome - Maybe that's why I like a Uniform ?? Mmmm Firemen !! Yum ! ) Hahaha - Ohh also I have HypoThyroidism and Borderline Polycystic Overy Syndrome !! Don't do anything By halves me - Apparently Im Rare - and well- My consultant and Endocrynologist havnt seen anyone who has all the mix that I have - and thus - I cant be Operated on ( Usually the Tumour is removed by surgery up the nose - BUT - Because of the damage done to the Amygdala - they don't want to do this as I have too much pressure in my head - and there is  A BIG risk that psychologically - I wouldn't recover - LMAO - NOT THAT THEY ARE SAYING IM NUTS !! - Lmao - I say that quite regularly - But THEY never do ;) !! They being " The Voices ! " = The Voices in my head - lmao - No No - The Doctors - Ive been told by EVERYONE it is a MEDICAL problem - and NOT MENTAL !!! Wheww whewwww - Im NOT mental !!

 

OK - So - My symptoms - hahahahahahaha - SIT DOWN AND GRAB A COFFEE - This isn't all of them - this is just what I remember at this particular moment !!! - I have Memory Problems - Concentration Problems, I cant understand even the simplist of thing if it is told to me - I switch off - or zone out - Ohh a Major one is I have No Metabolism - and im about 20 stone already - this is just normal for me - and actually im happy now with my weight, I KNOW I don't overeat and I don't Binge, It really is that my Body thinks im in Starvation mode and it stores every inch of fat that I consume !! So - Go with it I now think - I wont be a shrinking Violet any more - Because - YEAH - I did used to be that person that stayed in the bedroom - or hid in loo's !! = Now im in the middle of the Room - Ohhhhhhh - Hang on - No - That's what id do - if I didn't have Ohhh - People Stress !! = I cant remember the actual name at the moment !! - Groups of people and because of my OCD I think I have to listen to every bloody conversation going - and respond - and because I cant do this - my head starts pounding and I loose sight - Ohhh Yeah - I loose sight when the Pit Tumour gets agitated and It grows and It presses on my Optical Nerve !! = lol - So - Eye Sight Blurry and Lose Peripheral Vision - and Spotted Vision ( Black Spots in middle of eye ) - But this comes and goes !!
Erm - Ohhh Teenage Spots - still get them - at 40 - ohh stop laughing - its ridiculas !! - pmsl - ohh I loose my speech when the amygdala gets too agitated and this sets off my feelings of not being in control - and then I go TOURETTES MUMMY ( That's what the Kids call me !! ) I can swear - but that's it -

 I cant often get many other things out - lol - Frustration - that's it - I get Frustrated - and Swear - Im not really in control - as when im ME - I don't go around swearing all over the place - although I do like the odd swear word - ESP WHEN IN THE CAR !! = But - that's another story !! - ohh I also get very very very tired quickly, Mmmmmm it has been known for me to fall asleep in Costa Coffee or even Sports Direct - lmao !! Don't bother me - ( OK - I do wish I didn't snore ) BUT - It seems to worry other people !! Please- its not like I get into my PJ's or anything - well - not ALL the time ;) !!

Ermm - Ohh Peace and quiet I need MOST of the time - If there is ANY FORM of noise - I can kinda " flip out " = lol - I always explain it as  " - You know The Hulk - He had a Pituitary Problem !! - and he was a man - So Imagine that - but a woman with PMT !! x 1000 !! - and that's a bit like how I can go - Mmmmmm - SUCH FUN !! No - No Control AT ALL = and I don't mean that to get away with things - I do ACTUALLY mean it - I have No CONTROL over anything I do or say = most of the things I don't even believe or understand = All very Bizarre - Then - There the Mood Swings - Mmmm - I can be VERY Low = Suicidal = and the ONLY way I can calm is to medicate myself - I have been give Diaxapam to keep me calm - BUT - most people take 1 or 2 to just get to normal levels - Because of the amount of Cortisol in my blood at the time - I have been known to swallow 17 Diazapam - and then - Just be myself again - It NEVER has put me to sleep = always just calms me - Appparently - It takes 10 tablets to Knock someone out in Hospital for an Operation ... Hahahahah - and I take 17 - HARD CORE ME !! 
Mmmm - Ok - Is that it ?? Cant remember - Ohh all these lead to problems going out - I don't now go out unless I am with someone I trust - Or - Im near my Car - so I know I have a Safety Spot - But - I havnt actually gone out for a while on my own - as I do sometimes freak out if on my own - GOD KNOWS WHY as I am confident and well adjusted - Its just - I have a thing that other people wont know how to take me - and well - if they say something outta place ohhhhhhhhhh = Na - don't wanna go there !! ;) BUT Usually - Its fine !! Ohh Rudeness- if someone is rude - to me - or anyone - I HAVE to speak up and be an ambassador for that person ( If its not me ! ) I cant let ANYTHING go !! OMG THESE WORDS WERE WRITTEN FOR ME !!

Let it Go - Frozen -

- Let it go - Let it go -

Don't let them in,
don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel,
don't let them know
Well now they know

Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care
what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on.

 

OHHH YEAH - MY FREAKS OUT AND HIGHS AND LOWS ARE CALLED STORMS !!!

 

That's a massive one - I don't want ANYONE to see how bad it is for me - ( Poor EX Alan and My kids and my Mum and Dad - These are the ONLY people who have seen the full extent of my Rages and Freaks out - also my Hysteria - BUT - Even I find that one funny - yeah - I go VERY HIGH and very low !! I have even Woken myself up laughing - quite a lot of times ! - Its NEVER Boring sleeping with me !!! - Dreams I have a so Vivid and Thank God - They usually are Just funny - and ok - I say Funny  I mean totally off the wall Through the roof Hysterical - Even my Neighbours have said that they have heard me laughing at 2am before now !! Opps - and I stop - But 20 mins later remember what I was laughing at and start all over again ! NIGHTMARE !! ) Ohh I went off track there - pmsl - that's another thing - I do just think of something and OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SQUIRREL !! ................. ;) - pmsl - I just start talking about it - even if I an in a mid sentence !! Most off putting for people - BUT - This is cause my head works at 1000 times the speed of most people !! it doesn't stop .. Ohh yeah sorry - I did it again - I Don't want anyone to see how bad it is for me - SO - I smile and post how great everything is - I could be sat here in tears - But Posting about Unicorns and Rainbows - All very odd - IM NOT MENTAL - ITS MEDICAL - REMEMBER - THE CONSULTANT TOLD ME !! ;)

Mmm - Is that it now - Naaaa - Probably NOT - but - that's all I can be bothered to write atm - as I need a coffee = lol - ohh I havnt said anything about Cortisol - lol - That's quite Important - My Tumour gives off Cortisol - and I do too - so im overrun - or don't have enough - and omg - I and YOU will know where I am if either of these happen ! Mmmm - Also I Balloon Up if im Ill - and can look 4 stone heavier than I really am = and that is MOST ODD !! Ohhh now - im writing this on a slight High - and as I cant read it - Because the concentration it takes to read is FAR TO MUCH and sets me off - so - I don't read any more - and this Kills me - as I was an avid reader, ohhh No Reading, No Music, No TV, BUT I CAN DO FACEBOOK ???? and BLOG ???? and read small amounts of Txt - its all very odd - BUT - Nope - I cant read a book on here - too much txt and ohhh - PSYCHO ! = Ohh But NOT ! ;) - lol

OK OK - That'll do for now - Need a coffee - Hope that wasn't tooo Off the wall = and maybe explains a bit ??? I don't know - maybe its all goggldy gook !! = But - To someone somewhere - it may make sence !! = and All id say to them  - BE POSITIVE AND STRONG xxx

PeggatyPawz: 3.4.15 - Good Friday - DIG A HOLE = A BIG ONE ... ...

PeggatyPawz: 3.4.15 - Good Friday - DIG A HOLE = A BIG ONE ... ...: 3.4.15 - Good Friday - DIG A HOLE = A BIG ONE ... Ohhh Ive put my foot in it AGAIN OK - If easily offended - DONT READ - lol - Because I s...

3.4.15 - Good Friday - DIG A HOLE = A BIG ONE ... Ohhh Ive put my foot in it AGAIN

3.4.15 - Good Friday - DIG A HOLE = A BIG ONE ... Ohhh Ive put my foot in it AGAIN

OK - If easily offended - DONT READ - lol - Because I seem to be being very offensive today to a lot of people !! I DONT mean to be - its just that My Brain doesn't work quite the same as everyone else - ( See Blog re my Pituitary Brain Tumour ! ) and I do kinda just say things before I think - well - not before I think as I don't tend to think very much lmao - cause it hurts, but I just write or speak and as I cant read it back ( If long pieces ) then I just post lol !! and then I apologise and have to apologise again and again - lmao - Its a nightmare - BUT Thank God your JUST offended by my Spoken or written word - Just think of all the offensive things I keep to myself ! -  Thank God I find myself funny !

And Before we go any further - EVERY Friday is GOOD isn't it - Because It means Just a few hours to the WEEKEND ....... I wake up soo beautifully on a weekend - Then Idiots happen, and That makes my First Favourite F Word Erupt - ALOT !!! ...  But enough of that ..

It all started this morning When Auntie Gaye picked us up for a Good Friday Breakfast Slap up meal at Table Table - ( And yes - although the coffee was all drunk - all drinked - drunk - drunken - drunken up - INJESTED - The rest was delicious ) BUT - Auntie Gaye said she couldn't eat meat as it was good Friday - Mmmmmm - Not even Bacon - OHHH PLEASE !! ... BUT - I didn't think anything of saying to her - " well, I think that's daft - The big J.C would have wanted a nice big Steak before he went - so I cant see why u cant have a bitta Bacon and Sausage - He'd have wanted that " - Rather a large intake of breath - Alan looked round and said " Whats she said now " = BLOODY CHEEK - ALWAYS ASUMING ITS ME ! .. But - ok it usually is - and Gaye just looked and said " Abby is being rather Blasphemic " Opps - WAS I ??? = I then proceeded to explain to Alan - That I had just said " That Jesus would have wanted Gaye to have meat as just before he died HE would have wanted a steak " .......... Alan looked at me - " Ab, How was He killed " - " Alan - He was crucified - ... But he would have wanted a nice last super .. Even tho I think he had already had that " - Alan and Gaye both shake their heads - " Ab - He was Staked to the Cross " = OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
" so your not having a bacon then " ???

and the day seems to have gone from that to me being a tad OTT in a few of my BBW ( Big Beautiful Women Groups ) on Facebook - Now - I have to clarify - these are NOT as they sound and they are NOT of Big Fat Women Posting pics of their Breasticles - Well - NOT JUST THAT - LMAO - no - seriously - There are a few like that - but the ones I AM INVOLVED with are the tasteful friendly confidence building ones, and I have found LOADS of lovely people - male and female - that I now class as friends - People that know the 'Real me' - and its just lovely to be able to go into these rooms - sites - and just chat as I am - and not worry !!
Anyway - in one of these groups a guy started on the group and one of the Admins and well - I cant sit back and watch another be attacked for no good reason - so I PUT MY TWO PENNYWORTH IN !! - and that all went very well and I was very hyped up by it - sending Cortisol Levels rising !! - esp as I wasn't able to post my very eloquent last speech - as the post had been removed ... so next - having a joke with one of the guys - we were saying we WOULD post Half Naked pics - ( as the arguementative fellow afore mentioned was wondering why there were no dodgy pics on the site we were in !! ) So anyways Nice guy was having a laugh with me and it ended in him posting a half naked BUT VERY Artistic pic of his Top half .... Well - Too good an opportunity to miss - I just Posted " Nipple = I see Nippple !  " - Then the convo kinda went like this ...

 

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Dave -  Oh crap,,,erm,,,,,,,,,I erm,,,sorry,,,,,,,dam, I must get them removed lol

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Abigail Barry Be topical and put a cross on your Nipples for today ;) - xx

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Abigail Barry OHHHH THATS NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE - SORRY -

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Abigail Barry I MEANT hot CROSS bun -

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Abigail Barry Not the jesus thing - Ohhh shite - sorry

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Abigail Barry SHUT UP WOMAN

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Dave - Lmfao Abigail.

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omg - then I had a guy inbox me and was going on and on and on about how disrespectful I was and he just said ( and Yes - He used Caps Lock ) - " DO YOU KNOW WHAT JESUS'S LAST WORDS WERE " - To which I replied - " well, I wasnt there - BUT - If I were him, I'd have said = 'Don't go eating my Easter Eggs, I will be back on Monday' - " Lighten the mood I thought -BUT Apparently this was the wrong thing to say too ??? ( I still don't know The last words either - the chap blocked me )

 

I then had 12 - yes 12 inbox messages saying either that was offensive and Easter should NOT be mocked - or - OMG That was soo funny - so - I decided id share !! LUCKY YOU !! lmao - and now I have kinda lost my train of thought !! But I think I covered most of it for today !! So Happy GOOD Friday To one and all - Remember Be confident and BE YOURSELF - If people don't like you for who you are - Your with the wrong people xxxx