NOW - DON'T START GETTING WORRIED - I'VE NOT TURNED !! =
Just read and injest - Here a few of my thoughts after i got chatting to a guy on Twitter -
I posted a few days ago the following post :
Abigail Barry
kinda care
kinda don't
kinda wanna slap the shit out of you
Well - You know me - I was mouthing off and well - say it as i see it -
BUT THEN I had a Notification !!!
a Sir Spanks - and i thought OMG - another loon -- Yeah - i do get a fair few -
A fair few - lmao - Just yesterday on Badoo - I deleted 59 messages - and over half had 'parts' being shown - or straight forward - " wanna shag " questions - EVERYONE DELETED - PLEASE -
HAVE RESPECT !!
But - This guy !! - wow - NORMAL CHAT IMMEDIATELY - NOTHING MENTIONED ABOUT SEX - OR ANYTHING REALLY - he was just really friendly and chatty and actually a gent, and someone i would love to chat with more -
Look at his message for starters -
Whatever they have done, don't allow yourself to lower yourself to their level
I take back that i thought when first looking - ( His picture is a little erotic !! ) and messaged the guy anyways !! -
Sir Spanks and then it went from there - He has never been rude or well - you can see - OMG - THE WORD OF REASON - and this is how a true dom is !! In control - but NORMAL - i am actually laughing now - This guy is actually lovely - and I DO NOT WANT TO BE HEARING - " - He is pulling the wool over your eyes - " - or something like " - " Your having your head fucked with - ! " -
LMAO - I THINK MY HEAD IS FUCKED ENOUGH thank you very much - so
I DID MY OWN RESEARCH !! ( Yeah - CAUSE I'M NOT STUPID !! )
Yeah yeah - ok - i don't know much - but - after looking into it - WOW - I have spoken to quite a few Dom's and Sub's now - and IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK !!! I have actually gone onto a couple of BDSM websites - and OMG - they are far far far better than 'normal' - 'Vanilla' Dating sites !! - Everyone i have come across -
( ohhhhh thats a bad turn of phrase !! But = totally me - so i'l leave it in for you to raise your eyes to heaven, go red and giggle at ! )
OK - Everyone I have been contacted by - Because - so far - since joining - I have not had to contact one person - my inbox is HEAVING !! - and with my bosoms - this is great - i can do 'heaving' really well !! - BUT - I have had NO-BODY send indecent messages - no willy photos - and not one message telling me to lose weight !! lol - IT'S A DELIGHT SO FAR !! -
Corrr - Thats opened up a whole can of worms and
now people slowly edge backwards and make their excuses to leave
BUT STOP - ( Ohhhh the Dom coming out in me there !! - Ohh SHUT UP - I AM A DOMINANT PERSON - EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THAT = it's not a bad word - or something to be repulsed by - i'm self assured and Confident - so - DOMINANT ! - Get over yourself ! )
Did you ever THINK that sex and the BDSM scene is NOT WHAT YOU THINK !! - IT'S NOT ALL 50 SHADES YOU KNOW !!!
BDSM is about exchanging sensations and exploring your body’s responses to stimulus.
It is not always sex !!
In the child’s game, Trust Me, one person stands behind the other. The one in front falls backward, trusting the other to catch them before crashing to the floor. Trust Me contains an element of danger, the risk of not getting caught and getting hurt. The person falling places great trust in the person catching. When the falling player trusts the catcher enough to let go completely, and the catch happens as planned, both players experience a moment of exhilaration that’s difficult to duplicate any other way.
It's the same in BDSM - It is actually all about trust and honesty
IT'S NOT (ALL) ... WHIPS AND CHAINS AND ABOUT PAIN ......
Now - that's got you thinking hasn't it !!
BUT WHY DO PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT BELIEFS HAVE TO JUSTIFY -
OR GO UNDERGROUND TO BE TREATED AS THEY WISH ?
stigma noun (FEELING)
› [C usually singular, U] a strong feeling of disapproval that most people in a society have about something, especially when this is unfair:
PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND.... Pure and Simple ....
What follows Non - Understanding people - FEAR
Then what happens - any one of three things could occur -
They - ie - the non understanding person ! thinks by expressing an interest - they are siding with the 'non stereotypical' individual - and OMG - HOW IS THIS GOING TO MAKE THEM LOOK ? . Curiously enough, while assuming too much in common with other people is a pitfall, it's just as bad to assume we have too little in common, so - what does the person do - They start to make judgments and they have illogical thoughts through ignorance
then - Some
Non Understanding People will put themselves in that role - and - through their eyes, and their LACK OF KNOWLEDGE, begin to make assumptions and make wronged theorizations about the person, for example -
I would not allow a man/woman to TELL me what to do -
I would go mad -
I am my own person and make my own decisions -
BUT - think of it differently -
SOMETIMES / Just sometimes - it's ok to relinquish control -
It's a release and a form of self acceptance -
If you are in a LOVING AND TRUSTWORTHY relationship - then - Your partner is NOT going to do or say anything to hurt or undermine you - BUT you will have the freedom to relax -
Is that not a good thing ?
or
The other person treats the individual as an outcast or a 'freak ' ....
While - ACTUALLY - there is probably not much between them !!
We do things for our own individual reasons, because of experience, personality and other factors,
but some people treat members of the BDSM scene as clear automatons who make most of their relationship decisions because of past bad experiences or Gender programming , or some kind of abuse in earlier life etc etc ....
But think again - The person who is in the 'control ' position - wants to help and love and nurture the person who is not as strong ???
He / She wants them to grow as an individual - and wants them to be at one with the inner core of who they are ....
It is first and foremost an experience. Enjoy conversation, snacks and company. Play only if you are comfortable with that and with the person / people you have negotiated thoroughly with.
Relax in knowing that sex isn’t involved, unless YOU want it too be !
Doesn’t that relieve some stress from BDSM?
Either way, people need to understand and know that you can have just as much fun with endorphins and adrenaline without the sexual contact.
Obviously there are lots of people who indulge in a far more intimate and demanding role within the BDSM community - i get that - but - It's what the INDIVIDUAL wants - and nothing is ever forced upon a person - there are always safe words - and in fact the DOM is actually VERY VERY aware of what is happening and how the 'sub' is behaving -
A Good DOM never loses control - and is always fully aware ... This giving the Sub total control in what and how they behave = THEY can lose control - but the DOM is always ready - so really - It's the SUB that is the controlling one
OHHHHH - YOU DID NOT THINK YOU WOULD HEAR THAT TODAY DID YOU !!
In 1791 the French Marquis de Sade (1740-1814) published the first SM novel, Justine, which included whipping, flogging, nipple clamping, and restraints.
His name gave us “sadism.”
DeSade was imprisoned for criminal insanity, one reason many people consider the sexual practices he popularized, crazy, he has in fact done the BDSM community a dissatisfaction - It's - as i have said before - NOT like that !!
I have proved that - WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER - / COMMUNITY - that BDSM is in fact Fun, Enjoyable, a release and deeply entertaining ..
Actually all available evidence shows that the vast majority of BDSM enthusiasts are mentally healthy and typical in every respect
Except that they find conventional (“vanilla”) sex unfulfilling and want something more intense and intimate.
Before condemning BDSM, remember that not too long ago, oral sex and homosexuality were considered “perverse.”
