Let's start at the very beginning, A very good place to start,When you read you begin with A-B-C,When you sing you begin with do-re-mi, Doe, a deer, a female deer,Ray, a drop of golden sun
Me, a name I call myself, Far, a long, long way to run, Sew, a needle pulling thread .. OK OK - I WONT GO ANY FURTHER - But - I so could ;) !! .... and you ALL know you are singing now don't you !!! ;) - SORRRYYYYYYY !!
Well Cassia ( Age 9 ) came into my bedroom ( Sleep last night was 11.36pm till 3.02am - FACEBOOK = 4.33am till 6am - FACEBOOK - 6am - 7am ) She woke me up by a kiss on the nose - which is better than the usual get nose to nose to me and WAIT - I open my eyes and then have a VERY LOUD Heart Attack, Swear LOADS, and tell her she is a little bitch - she of course is in ABSOLUTE HYSTERICS and almost wetting herself laughing = ok ok - this is the sort of thing I do - and she is only copying - BUT When in such close proximity to a Crazed woman with Unoperable ( or should that be Inoperable ?? ) Pituitary Brain Tumour - You DONT WANT TO AGGRIVATE ME !! Anyway anyway I digress - she woke me and Immediately said - " Shall we go to WingHam Wildlife Park today " ...... well - that was enough - I was up and dressed and Make up on - ( Not too much as it is just a zoo - and the animals don't mind if I look like crap !! ) Coffee made and sat down ready and waiting for Tom - Also Posted on Facebook my wonderful intentions for the day - all within 10 minutes !! = Im soooooooooo Superwoman.com !!!
Took Tom about 30mins to get ready ( he is 12 ) and then we sorted the PeggatyPawz out ( dog ) and talked - OHHHH THIS MAKES ME MAD !! - I WANT TO GO - AND GO NOW = and if they wernt open - I would scale the fence !! I was ready and RARING TO GO !! ... So we left eventually as people couldn't put up with my moans - and went on way to McDonalds - Ohhhh Sausage and Egg McMuffin, and a coffee - Perfick ! - The others had FULL Breakfast Wraps - and God alone knows how they could still move, let alone RUN back to the car.... Ohh this is after the air hand dryer made me almost loose my breakfast as it turned on so fast and gave me the fright of my life !! Yes - This is a normal occurrence - I get scared and am jumpy all the time - its a cross I have to bear !! - Ohh thing is - when I jump - I go all Tourette mummy ( What the Kids Nickname is for me ) as I cant think or speak normal words for a while = Been told this is due to the Pit Enlarging soo much and pressing on bits of my brain that it shouldn't = BUT - then I calm down - and it all goes ok again !! Anyways Back to the car and Drive to Wingham - OMG OMG - I CAN SEE THE ENTRANCE !!!! .......
OK - NOW - THIS IS ALLLLLLL VERY EXCITING ... Please imagine a 40year old but acting like a 6year old - but that's ok - IM HAVING FUN FFS !!! - well - we get to the front door and pay - me giving the Ex Alan Evils as he gets me to pay with the family money - rather than coming out of business money - BUT - that's ok - Soon forgotton ! - I SEE WOLLLFFFFFFSSS - HOWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL - omg and they actually walked right next to us - 3 of them - and were so cute - AND NO TOM THEY WOULD NOT RIP YOUR THROAT OUT - They are Cute and Fluffy and needed an Abby Hug, anyways, stayed there a while watching and saying hello x 3 everytime they walked past - Well - Rude NOT too, then got dragged away and next we went to see Owls - Mmmmm - NOT impressive - NOT bovvered by owls !! Birds - Mmmmm - B.O.R.I.N.G !!! - NEXT OMFG I SEE AN OTTER ! = ARGHHH THREE OTTERS = AND OMG THEY ARE PLAYING - TOM, CASS - QUICK HERE - HERE - LOOKEY AT DA BUBBY OTTERS PLAYING = Mmmm Then Tom started going on about " cute Aggression " and I said rubbish - no such thing = never heard of it - well this convo/shouting match lasted about 10 mins and he finished with " Mum - Its like when you go all ohh its so fluffy and I want to hug it and squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze it and ohh its soo cuddly " and I said ohh yeah I do do that - He looked at me - " That's Cute Agression " - OHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH I GET THAT ;) - Well - why he couldn't say that in the first place I will never know !! anyways - Flamingo's next and Tom went off on one about the Pink Colour and how they are actually grey = Then discovered that we were actually in the walk in encloseure and OMG MUM - YOUR NOT MEANT TO GO OVER THE ROPE - Ohhhhhh RULES RULES .... But Mr Flamingo DIDNT want to come and say hello = and I must say I was a tad relieved as FUCK HE HAS A BIG BEAK !! any way - out of the Flamingo's now - and walked past Monkeys and Gibbons, and a few Lemurs, and onto the petting zoo - Yawn - this was going to be boring but HAVE to do it as Cassia loves that kind of thing -
OMG OMG OMG - WE walked in , only ones there - and a Wallaby - A BIG white FLUFFY one, Bounced up, a really cute deer thing with tincy antlers and OHHH MY DEAR LORD ABOUT 6 BABY GOATS - ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH - AND THEY ALL WANTED A CUDDLE ( Feel slightly mean now that we didn't get any food at the start = But da Bubbies didn't know that did they ;) !! mwahahahahahah !! - ) OMG - They were so friendly and fluffy and cute - and Cassia " Bonded " with the odd deer thing, and she was thrilled = well - we were here for at least 30 mins, Alan was in hysterics as we apparently were very loud ( OK I was very loud ) and a Gibbon had moved from his cage at the back and sat right at the front to sit and watch us - Alan said it honestly looked as if HE was watching us and not the other way round - well - I wasn't watching him anyway - twas watching the goats and things !! anyway - Bet your all thinking it gets no better = YOU'D BE WRONG !! W stroked - Yes STROKED the fluffy antlers of a ReinDeer - well this is where he goes when off work - he was a tad large - but - all good he was lovely !! Ohhhh then saw a whole host of different animals - The meercars OBVIOUSLY had to set myself Cass and Tom off into a round of " Steve, Allannnnn, Dave, Steve - Steve - Alannnnnnnn - " and ok we found it funny - Not anyone else was laughing - OHHH SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO SENCE OF HUMOUR !! Ohhh and they came up and are very rough - No I don't mean that they asked to take us out - there fur is very course, Mmmmm YES OF COURSE WE WERE ALLOWED TO STROKE THEM !! As if we would do something we wernt allowed ...
OK - Next into the Reptile House - Oooooooooooo Its Dark and smells - Mmm - Much like Toms Room ;) ! - so used to that - walked in and immediately saw a Huge Boa - Beautiful - well of course Being HUGE Harry Potter Fans Cassia and I can speak Parcel Tongue Parseltongue is the language of snakes and those who can chat with them. An person who can speak Parseltongue is known as a Parselmouth.
Apparently It is a very uncommon skill, and is typically hereditary. Anyways - Cass and I started chatting to this HUGE Boa, It went something like this ( we are not good enough to do it via telepathy yet, so it is all done via sound ) Hathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh paaaaaaaaa seeeeeeeeeeee hassssssssssssssss moiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii weeeeeeeeeeeee whwwwwwwwwwwwww ppppppppppppppppp aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhdooooooooooooooooooooo sssssssssssssssssssssss - Then the reptile keeper came up to us and stated that the snakes in Wingham are NOT under the law of " He who must not be named " - and would we PLEASE stop talking in Parcelmouth as it is disturbing the children ..... B.O.R.I.N.G
Ok - next we saw Tarantulas and gekhos, and a whole bunch or horned toads, and Crocs and Alligater ( How do you know the difference between Crocadiles and Allligaters - WELL - Your going to see a Crocodile - in a while - and and Alligater - LATER - BOOM BOOM !! Thank you - im here till Thursday !! ) ok the only other noteable thing was the Charmeleon ... ok - he was cute - BUT Tom and I did a rather wonderful rendition of Karma Charmeleon - Boy George, Eat Your heart out ... Karma karma karma karma, karma chameleon, You come and go, you come and go, Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream, Red gold and green, red gold and green - Ohhh YOU WISH YOU WERE THERE DONT YOU !! - We were Marvellous ....
OK - Coffee and Lunch - all im saying £36 for Burger and small chips and coffee and flavoured water - * COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH !! * Picnic next time !!! Ohh they also had a HUGE indoor soft play area that cass loved - Tom far to grown up for it - and my head was a bit whizzy so I didn't go on either - but apparently the slides are FAB and I would have loved it ;) !
anyways - now onto TIGERS
( My Absolute Fav- but - sadly they wernt doing a lot today ! ), CHEETHAS, LYNX, LEOPARD, and the LIONS = ( http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/new-lions-at-wingham-park-a66982 ) Now - these Lions had been rescued last year from a crap zoo / fairground in France and when we saw them last year they looked terrible - really upset and depressed and hid in the corner - but OMG THE CHANGE IN THEM - They looked so relaxed and happy - lounging on their platform - actually so relaxed that one had its head on the other - ohhh was a delight to see = really was - cheered me up no end as last year they were so upset and really needed councilling, now they just looked Magestic - The effort and work put into the rescue and rehabilitation was soooo worth the transformation in these beautiful creatures.
OK - Tired now - VERY VERY TIRED, head BANGING, not really able to say too much as I couldn't think - and eyes a tad - ok VERY blurey - kept tripping over my own feet - so the ex knew I had had enough EXCITEMENT for the day - and we headed to the exit - OMG - A WALKIN LUMUR ENCLOSEURE - ARGHHHHHHH HAVE T GO IN THERE - well stood for about 30mins ( Alan outside - Don't know why ) and Cass and I and Tom all stood waiting .... Hoping .... Praying and then OMG A BABY one = awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww - and then there was a fight and a Lemur jumped over the posts and ACTUALLY JUMPED ON ME, AND RAN OVER ME - AND JUMPED ONTO CASSIA AND THEN FELL - ARGHH OMG - CASS WENT TO CATCH IT AND THE KEEPER SHOUTED " DONT TOUCH HER - SHE BITES - LMAO - ANYWAYS - OMG That was a fab ending - Walked to the end and Bought season tickets - WORTH EVERY PENNY !!!
HOME - SLEEP FOR THREE HOURS AND NOW BLOGGING MY DAY BEFORE I FORGET
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