Wednesday 15 April 2015

School Holidays, Kids are BORED.COM, PTSD and a Pituitary Brain Tumour ! ARGHHHH !!

OMG - OK - I know I say that a lot - but perleasee - OMG - Shut the F**k Up !! - Being Pituitary Dodgy - as I like to call it ( See Brain Tumour Blog ! ) I have NO Patience, and No tolerance - ( lmao - ok is that the same thing - head on a non working day today - lmao - as most others !! ) and I hate Noise or Unsettledness or ANY FORM OF STRESS AT ALL - Unless Im causing it - Ohh there is honesty for you !!



The Kids are off school, ( Easter Holidays ) and well - the ex has done FANTASTICALLY with them - taking them to James Bond Exhibitions in London and Chessington World of Adventures with his crumbling spine - lmao - a great time has been had - me - Well - I sit here and Blog or Facebook, because of the Social Anxiety I have I cant manage to Get out and about as much as I want, BUT - That's cool - I have met some wonderful people online, Many of which ( lol - ok ok - well about 10 !! ) who have become very close friends and are dependable - and first and foremost they GET ME !! - Cause omg - most people don't - Because I can say something - lol - and even I don't believe what I said !! - Total rubbish !! - BUT - These people Know not to listen and they ignore me if I go into one or go off on one, as I also Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Squirrel - lol - Just like that - I get distracted very easily ! - ohh god and bored !! - I can get so bored - lol - and - I think I have just proven - just in this statement - what I can be like - my mind works at 1000 times the speed it should - and I just go with it - Now - Ive forgotton what I was on about in the first place - lmao - Thank God I find myself funny - Cause it would drive people MAD !!!!



OK - KIDS - lol - They have been good - as far as kids not becoming bored go - they do occupy themselves - and are not the kind of kids that sit inside on Xboxes ( Well not all the day ! ) - lmao - and seeing whats happening at the moment is hysterical and throws that whole sentence out the window - as it is 11.33am and Tom Is JUST up - He is 12, and Cassia is 9 and making a Vanilla Iced CupCake - from Mix - Dear olde Betty Crocker !! - Cassia is in her element - and LOVES anything hands on - Art Crafts and Painting etc - she wants to be a Architect when she is Bigger ( Well - To be honest - her fist answer was and I think will always be ' I want to be a Penguin ' ... Mum - You'd wanna be a Penguin Too wouldn't you - when you grow up ? " - yeah - she was serious !! But eventually got round to an Architect !! so - cool - she wont be locked up -



I definitely think Cass takes after me !! ) and Thomas - Well My Tom is just Such a Fantastic Kid - He has had a lot to put up with - as he is very hormonal atm - and if I start - he then gets VERY angry with me - and it does and has got nasty - Because - Because of my head - if I feel 'attacked' or feel I have to justify myself - well - I go HULK !! = and there is No Coming back from it unless I medicate !! If someone comes at me - GOD HELP THEM - AS I DONT AND WONT BACK DOWN ! - This is NOT " ME " - I have never been in a fight or even thrown a punch in my life - well before I was diagnosed with this blinking Tumour, I was always very shouty but would never go any further - rather walk away - Now - I CANT WALK AWAY .... I FIGHT.... Fight or flight certainly is the case with PTSD and A Pit Tumour - OHHHHHH - Ive gone off on one again !! - ermm - Tom wants to be a astrophysicist - NOT a penguin !!! - lol - He is at Grammar school and excelling in everything and has been put in Gifted and Talented in 4 subjects - and has been asked to join a Rugby Org near us as he excels in that field too !! This isn't a mother being all OTT about there kids - Tom really is a nice lad - down to earth and friendly - lol - VERY Friendly and confident and very Practical !! ... He does NOT take after me !!! ;) So Kids are well rounded and Happy - God knows how living with a nutty mother - lmao - but - they are !! and They are Fabulous and Im VERY proud of the way they deal with things -
Until it comes to LONG periods off school - OMG = Then all hell could break loose !!



Anyways - Its tough not being able to do stuff with them - But - I don't have any guilt - maybe its just the way my head works - But - Im more upset at being left out ... But - at least the Ex is there to do stuff with them - and the kids don't miss out !! - and they do come home and tell me all about there day - so all good !! - I have probably Zoned out on the computer, I could spend 8 hours sitting in front of it and forget EVERYTHING - The Loo - Drinks, Meals, The dog - EVERYTHING - It really is most bizarre, I even forget who ive spoken to and what I have said - lol - if anything bad I usually get told and have a txt on my phone to tell me to apologise or explain what I mean !! - lmao = QUICKLY !! - But - All good !!

The weird thing is friends and family - Well Mum and dad are good and if I need them they come round  and Mum and I go out on a Tuesday - ohhhhhh hang on - this has nothing to do with the kids - so not relevant - going off into one again !!! pmsl - ohhhhhhhhh Squirrel !! ........................ xx



Ermm- That's about all I can think of to write atm - so I will leave it at that - nothing very funny there - sorry !! = But - That's day to day life - I should write down the funny things that happen - as it is all the time - but - I can never remember !!!

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