You have to be able to laugh !! RIGHT ??

ohh dear lord .. bless me for i have sinned and sworn - rather alot !

Last night - Watched STEP BROTHERS 




with the kids - and ok - maybe it wasn't appropriate 
BUT FUCK ME, IT WAS FUNNY !!!

SPOILERS - 

but such - CLASSIC LINES -




"Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. You yelled rape at the top of your lungs." 

"You know what gets my dick hard? Helping out my friends."

"One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands."

"Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. Brennan I cant even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus". 

and the MY TWO FAVOURITES - 

“This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”




" My ballsack touched your drum set " - 

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JESUS FORGIVE ME !

All of us in utter hysterics from start to finish !





Then ! - bed - and ok - had the usual screams ( lmao - from me ) and then ABOUT TO get into bed - decided i wanted a book - OHHH WHY DO I HAVE TO BE LITERATE !! The whole bedside table fell apart - Vibrating devices, Oils, Batteries, Books, Dice, Blindfolds, Feathers omg . .... EVERYTHING CRASSSSSH ( NO ) BANG WHALLOP onto the floor - 

KIDS race in - 
"Are you ok, are you o.......... WHATS THAT MUM - .... "

ohhhh shit - shout at them to get out - ( because im bad & shout ! ) and then i clear the 'items' off the floor - place in bag and place safely in wardrobe - ok - fling back the bedclothes and JESUS WEPT - IT'S THAT FUCKING SNAKE AGAIN My 13year old ( bd tomorrow ) thinks it is SUCH FUN to put a really life like snake into my bed - this is now the third time - and as my nerves are shot ( i wonder why ) i go BANANANANANANANANA S !! anyways - Snake thrown to other side of room - cats pounces on it ! - ok - that's fine - 



Cats then decides to have a full scale military assault on the snake - and being the velociraptor's they are - take it in turns to concur the slimy beast .... NOISILY ! .. but - to top it all - i needed the loo by now - and ffs - walked through the hallway only to tread on a dead mouse - ( Thank you Derek  Rodney - aforementioned velociraptor's  ) and while cleaning up the carcass became more and more desperate for the loo - and after two kids and a huge amount of weight - Zips getting stuck and my pelvic floor is not what it used to be - JESUS WEPT - screamed - 
" and to top it all i pissed in my fucking onesie " 




- to which BOTH kids erupt in delight - and came running - i have no dignity or shame - and we all fell about in hysterics - 
Thank Christ i have the MOST ridiculas sense of humor - 
Who could cope without being able to laugh at oneself !!