lol - not sure if it is going to make any sense - as those that KNOW - Realise i'm just typing even before things come into my brain - Easier like that - Cause then my head does not hurt !!
Well - This week - Ohhh Have i blogged this week - I can't remember - Hang on * sip of coffee * - Mmmmm Nope no good - i have no idea - i kinda remember something - but - what that 'something' is - ermm - could be anything !! I remember having a conversation this morning about ... Ohhh shite - Nope - thats gone too - BUT - EMPOWERMENT - Thank the lord I wrote that as a title -
THAT WILL KEEP REMINDING ME and keep me on track -
LAUGHS AT SELF !!
But - OMG i'm HOT -
lol - NOOOO - I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT !!
I DID ACTUALLY MEAN - I'M HOT !
I got changed out of a, ..... ok - it's a Baby Romper suit - I think i scared my dad as i opened the door this morning - Just in an all in one shorts and strappy thing - with stripes - * OMG - SHOCK HORROR * Going across - ENHANCING my HUGE STOMACH !! - pmsl - and well - if Dad was not shocked the POOR GORGEOUS Young Postie ( who IS UTTERLY WONDERFUL AND SMILEY and ok - i defo have a 'little' ( HUGE HUGE HUGE ENORMOUS ) crush on him, and he must have been shocked beyond all recognition -
But - I like to think he was Enamoured with my new look -
Out of the Shower - Romper - and face like Alice Cooper ( Because the make up i hadn't taken off - was now plastered all down my cheeks - Ohhhhhhhh don't pretend YOU have not done it too - But - he always has such a lovely smiley face - THE POSTMAN - KEEP UP - KEEP UP - you seriously just wanna hug him !! - I really want a photo of him - but - i think this may well scare him beyond the Rhelms of Existence and he may run screaming, tears down his face, Perspiration down his brow, never be seen again .. So - I will leave the poor guy alone ... !!
Oooooooooo But - he knocked on the door to deliver my NEW BAGS - Bags that i ordered from China - at a VERY REASONABLE price - and omg - I LOVE THEM !! - I cant be bothered with all that black rubbish ( Although one of them is rather conservative - well - in a very lose manner of speaking ! ) and the OTHER - is OMG - HYPERVENTILATE !!
Nope Gone again - Far too hot - will now have to change OUT of the trousers and long sleeve top - and BACK INTO AFOREMENTIONED ROMPER !! and Now sat here - Trying to remember what on earth i started - i know what will help * Coffee * !! ( Sips from pint mug ! ) YAWWWWN - BTW - ( That's By The Way for people Not 'in the know ! ) I have been awake for little under and hour - yes yes- it's 17.12 - and omg - i can't be bothered to work that out on my fingers - so- YOU do the Math !!
My Body Clock is ALL OUT Of sync this week - lol - i say that like it is a change from any other week - But - as soon as i get upstairs to bed at 9 / 10pm - well - THEN I WAKE UP ! - and am awake till 1.30 ish AM !! Then i drop to sleep and am awake - RARING TO GO at 5 / 6am !! - so - Not surprising i am tired in the afternoon - and Nope - it's no good saying Keep yourself awake - or 'Don't drink so much coffee' = It SERIOUSLY is NOT anything like that !!
Thats my view in front of me NOW !
My head is going like THE CLAPPERS and it's not caffine related - ( I have actually been on a Caffine FREE diet for three months, about - well just over a year ago - and NOTHING changed - so - i do know - catagorically - it's nothing to do with the coffee ! )
Anyways - I woke at 6am this morning - and came downstairs -
Moved a REALLY REALLY HEAVY
- 6 seater - Oak Table from the conservatory -
Maneuvered round TWO doors - and furniture -
and into the newly 'free'd ' ex's bedroom -
that is now going to be a DINING ROOM - GO ME -
ALL SOPHISTICATED - with my own DINING AREA !!! lmao - Have actually thought that I would prefer it to be used a a room for ferrets = No - I kid thee not - BUT - atm - it's for the table !!!
Ohhh Last night - after a day of having the EX move his bed out of the downstairs room - and into the car - to be transported ( Ohhhhh that sounds like a Dr Who Storyline ! ) to a flat ..... He hadnt taken any clothes or the wardrobe or paperwork - or ermm - the christmas tree that i had put in there - LOVINGLY STORED IN THE CORNER !! - with him - and - by this point I HAD HAD ENOUGH - There was Dust and 'bits' EVERYWHERE - where he had dragged the bed to the door - and nope - he had not cleaned this up - ( I will stop here because i am going to start sounding Bitter ! - and that's never a good look !! )
Piano has GONE - Moved to the Dining room !!
Newly Moved Table HAS GONE !
EMPOWERMENT BEGINS -
Well - actually it began the other night - when i purchased a Lawnmower from Argos at 12.30PM from my bed - and had it delivered at 7.30AM the following day !! - I had - had ENOUGH of the MESS that is the Back Garden - and have started ' Taking Control ' and 'doing' !!!
Yup = It was delivered - OMG - IN A BLOODY BOX - The size of a postage stamp ( okkkk - Maybe it was a tad larger than this ! ) AND I ONLY BLOODY PUT IT TOGETHER MYSELF !! - USING THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL !!! Bloody get in there !!!
I put it all together- ( Although could not get two screw things in - so i left them out - BUT - I round and round and round and round the other screwey things and tightened it up and put together and did up - and fastened and EVERYTHINK - ALL BY MYSELF - No MAN -or anything !! - I then took it outside - Plugged it in - AND OMG - IT ONLY BLOODY WORKS !!!
I then Hoovered the lawn and it looks so much better - well - ok - I hoovered a quarter of it - because by this point i was losing my head and I NEEDED to Lie in a quiet darkened room - LITERALLY - So - There I lay untill - My Son got in !! Ermm about 5 hours later !! - I kinda Zoned out !! NOT Tired - but my head had just stopped - and it may sound ridiculas - but - I had concentrated so much - my body stops !! So I need a quiet room to TRY to stop myself from 'storming' ....... But - it worked and i did Zone out - and omg - it looks soo much better !! So pleased with myself !!
THEN - The bed senario happened and so - I BLOODY WENT FOR IT AGAIN !! - I dismantled the wardrobe, and chest of drawers and unceremoniously PLACED with FORCE them in the Log Cabin - Where the EX had spent most of the summer last year - after I purchased two Kittens - !! -
DEREK AND RODNEY !! - Or - ' Da Boys ' -
for god sake - I have grown up with animals - have ALWAYS had cats - AM COVERED IN PAW TATTOOS and was fed up at not having cats about since my two had died so close together
( Charlie of Old Age : 22 : and Bob was Run Over and the BASSSTARD didnt stop )
so - DEREK AND RODNEY came into our lives - and the house is where they shall stay -
so - the EX moved out .......
I WILL NOT BE DICTATED TOO ANYMORE -
( Also meant to say here that I moved the piano from the Hallway - and yes - VERY VERY HEAVY - And also changed everything to HOW I WANT IT !! )
Where was I ?
I WILL NOT BE DICTATED TOO ANYMORE - Ohh yeah !
Not that he did dictate - But - Because i did not want to upset him or cause a row -
I always went along with what he said - AND I BLOODY SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE !
Fancy Living with animals - Dogs and 6 cats - and then be told over and over that they are a tie and not worth the money spent on them -
Ohhh ANYONE THAT DOES NOT LIKE ANIMALS IS NOT WORTH MY TIME AND EFFORT -
I KNOW THAT NOW - and that is with me sat here - PeggatyPawz ( 13 year old Retriever x Long Haired German Shepherd )
by my side - and due to her age - now has an uncontrollable Flatulence problem - and i am talking EYES WATERING AND NOSE RUNNING HEAD STINGING TYPE OF SMELL - OMG - Open all windows - THERE SHE BLOWS AGAIN !!! OMG - and - looking down she is not even next to me - she is in the hallway - so THAT SMELL - has drifted - and now - i feel i have to sing
Lighthouse Family
The whole thing falls apart I guess
It doesn't really matter 'bout the rain
'Cause we'll get through it anyway
We'll get up and start again
'Cause it could be drifted - drifted - drifteddd
it could be drifted
From the shadows, drifted
Oh, it could be, drifted up today
Drifted all the way, you and I forever
Peggaty, drifted, Drifted, Drifted, hey
It's undisturbable the peace we found
In a bright new space up above the clouds
Everything is understandable
You don't have to say anything too loud
When all our luck runs out again
OHHH NO - I GOT THAT WRONG - It's NOT Drifted - it's lifted - But - You must understand my Mind working overtime there !!
Brilliant song - TOTALLY RUINED BY YOURS TRULY !!
Now my hump hurts - lol - Yeah yeah I have my own Quazimodo Hump -
OMG HE EVEN LOOKS LIKE ME - Just needs to gain a few stone !
( actually mine is a medical issue - due to my brain tumors - lmao - and is called a Buffalo hump - but - sod me it's hurting ! and nope - nout they can do about that either !!! )
OHH APPARENTLY IT'S NOT EVEN A HUMP - LMAO - I CAN SEE IT - CAN YOU ???
BUT - EMPOWERMENT ... LOL -
Ohhhh i need another coffee hang on !!
Right - Black Coffee - Pint mug - and two sweeteners - and head down - and SHITTTE - THE BLOODY HUMP IS KILLING ME !!
But even through the - well - all the rubbish i have to go through -
I NOW KNOW - That :
I DON'T NEED A MAN !!
I WOULD LIKE ONE YES
( One rather like this would be lovely - If you find him please return him ! )
BUT - I DON'T NEED ONE
and that opens up a whole new ball game
( Ohh stop with the rudeness )
I CAN do nearly everything myself ( If I CAN'T do it - i know i have people that I can ask )
- No - SOMETIMES - I can't understand - Sometimes - I can't think, Sometimes i do misinterpret things, SOMETIMES my head shuts down - Sometimes my Brain stops - BUT - OTHER TIMES I BLOODY WELL DON'T - and - if LEFT alone - i get on WHEN I CAN, In my own way - at a time when is suitable for ME - and am bloody thorough in my methodical ( Ohh ok - i won't take it too far ! ) approach on life !! Leave it to ME- and eventually IT WILL GET DONE - But - keep telling me - and making me feel stupid - or ILL - and i stop and do nothing ....
I still know my limitations - and lots of people - or movement or chatting DOES MY HEAD IN - but - i know this starts me off - so keep out of the light !! ;)
My daughter this morning said - ' Oh mum - your so much better now arnt you ' and this was AFTER she has seen me EVERY NIGHT this week - double up in pain on the sofa = because i have immense pressure and pain in my head - Nothing bought it on - it just starts - But - with medication and being told to medicate IMMEDIATELY - because i forget - It has stopped fairly quickly - or - i have gone upstairs to my dark quiet room ! BUT - Yeah - ok - It's so much better - because now i am getting the old Abby back - and not having to cope with being TOLD i can't do things ( Use the lawnmower because it is dangerous ) - or i won't understand - I am doing WHAT I WANT - WHEN I WANT - and WHEN - NOT IF i get ill - i deal with it !!
NO - I'M NOT BETTER - BUT - I AM DEALING WITH IT !!
NO-BODY AND NOTHING
HAS THE RIGHT
TO TAKE AWAY
YOUR INDEPENDENCE AND PERSONALITY
No comments:
Post a Comment