HOW TO KEEP POSITIVE WITH A PITUITARY BRAIN TUMOUR / PTSD / HYPOTHYROIDISM !

HOW TO KEEP POSITIVE WITH A
PITUITARY BRAIN TUMOUR / PTSD / HYPOTHYROIDISM !

HAHAHAHAHAH - What a great enticing header I write as I literally sit here dribbling - ohhh - The dribbling its getting worse - but soooo funny as I don't know im doing it till its dripping - and ohh if your sat opposite me eating your bacon sarnie - WHEWWW WHEWWW - FREE BACON SARNIE FOR ME !!! - lmao - Well - what a title and what an opener- bet you wernt expecting that - but- with me - expect the unexpected !! - ALWAYS !!

Right - this blog - ( I thought id do another as I havnt done one for a while and I thought id best do one as I would get out of practise - This one isn't going to be a rant as my last one was about " Stereotyping ! "- I sounded like I was back at school quoting this and that - ohhh but I did enjoy it !! - BUT This post is going to be about How I TRY to keep myself Positive with the life that I have ..... OK OK - BACKGROUND- ( Very short - as I know - I know I do ramble on ! ) FOR THOSE THAT DONT KNOW ME !! : I am a 40  year old Hypothyroid sufferer - Ohhhhhh -- I don't like the useage of the word sufferer = people in Etheopia are sufferer's, Not me = Can I say that ? - Is that PC - Ohh well - just done it ! - anyways I have Hypothyroidism, PTSD and a Bulky Pituitary Gland - WITH a Tumour that comes and goes - on the Stalk of the Pit Gland ( Brain ) causing my brain to shut down if too much info goes in !! pmsl - REALLY !! - im not joking - my whole head just gives up - and I slur my speech - make up words - go giddy - cant think - cant stand - Ohhhhhhhh a whole host of symptoms !! - each as great as the first !! Its realy rather SHIT - BUT - I TRY - when im me - TO be POSITVE AND FRIENDLY AND OPEN AND HONEST AND UNIQUE - ohhh im that anyways ! - ok - ermmmm - INSPIRATIONAL !! = YES I like that - I wanna be INSPIRATIONAL !! ;) !!

Well - before I carry on - my week goes something like this - : Daily : Wake up , Take Tablets, kids up, shower - GO GIDDY AND BOY ITS PAINFUL LIFTING MY HANDS ABOVE MY HEAD - Get out of shower - 4 minutes is ALL that is needed !! = Make up on as I dry - clothes on - get kids their orange juice downstairs and a pain au chocolate n apple, lunchboxes in school bags - make COFFEE - ( NEVER EVER TEA ) Clean Kittens out ( I have 2 x 10 week old Kittens atm ! )

 and let PeggatyPawz out in the garden to take in the air and wake everyone in the neighbour hood up barking !! - awwww - she gotta have some entertainment too

!!! SHOUT at Tom again - Get shouted back at - argument - Take Diazepam - Sit down with coffee - Head now spinning - quick convo while kids get ready and stuff - say goodbye - then they have been whisked off to school by Bus or Car - Peace !! = I then usually wait til my head is ok - then Hoover - make dinner - dust - sort out and tidy bedrooms - washing - empty bins and anything else that needs doing - THEN COFFEE AGAIN !!

 - By this time my head is well and truly GONE !! - I cant think or concentrate on anything !! I just 'do' !! ...... Usually I go on the computer :

POSITIVITY AND MOTIVATION BEGINS !!!

I have my own YouTube Channel, and Goggle+ ATM 93thousand VIEWS !! ) Pinterest Boards, Twitter and Facebook ( Mainly for friends and family is my facebook account )
Mostly under Abigail Barry or PeggatyPawz if you wanna have a peek !! BUT .... Remember - Some people may NOT like what they see - and may Disagree with what I am doing - I am in a Body Positivity Movement - Basically Confident FAT people - Giving Help guidance and support to UnPostiive Fat People - and OMG IT WORKS - I have had hundreds of lovely lovely emails thanking me for doing what I do - so - NO NEGATIVITY - I LIKE WHAT I DO AND I AM HELPING PEOPLE - SO - ALL GOOD !! - ( Lmao - Nothing Pornographic mother - don't worry !! )- Dignity still intact !! )

On YouTube - I have found a group and we call ourselves Coens Angels - People who engage and entice guys who like a BBW ( Big Beautiful Woman ) to get out there and give compliments and tell BBW's that they are gorgeous- TO SHOW SUPPORT AND POSITIVITY AMONG THE RANKS - Our Guide/Mentor if you like is Coen Naninck of Curvy Shrine - YouTube Channel as below  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiYGkklFXidfFl-k16NqRLw - His Philosophy is "  In today’s world women have to be thin to be “beautiful”. On this YouTube channel and the website curvyshrine.com you can learn that curves can be found all throughout nature and that women of different shapes and sizes are beautiful and attractive " ..... He is outstanding and such a lovely individual and has helped many many women relalise their true Potential = Yeah Yeah - OK - I do have a soft spot for him - but he knows this !! ;) !! lol - !! Check him out !!

I too have my own channel make make videos almost daily and now have 64 subscribers and over 8 thousand views which isnt bad in over a month - On my channel - I talk about me - RATHER ALOT !! - and the kittens get involved - and I also chat about Brain Tumours and Body Confidence and all sorts of waffle really, I don't edit my videos- what you see is what you get - and yes - it has been known for me to break the camera - on camera - and now I have to hold the bloody thing !! but all good ! - I have a fantastic response - so all good - I also post things I like - Videos by others - ie songs - or funny things ( Aaron Crascall / Pigeon Prank / Disco Boy / Home made Car Lip sync Videos  or inspirational doings - all good stuff ... )

On My Twitter and Google accounts - omg - I post everything and anything - as positive as I can - and information I find helpful and informative and funny things - loads of animal stuff too !! OMG - and Philosophical stuff and inspirational quotes - just stuff to make people smile - and once again - I have loads of great comments and loads of lovely replies - ohhh that's the same thing - lmao ... I do love both Twiter and Google+ But - OMG - They are a lot for me to maintain - and I seem to be taking ages to find different material to post for other people to feel good about themselves- lmao - maybe that's a bit of OCD ?? But - I love it , only thing - once  get on the computer - my head zones out - and I just write ( like this ) or talk - and I often forget what im talking about or thinking and come out with absolute rubbish - so - thank god for some of my followers who have become friends and tell me to " Take that video / blog / message off Abs as it makes no sence " - lmao !! BUT - usualy = I leave stuff on - so people can see the difference in my posts = when im well and then when im not so well - then it helps them too !! I have had brain Charities saying my posts are INVALUABLE - yes - invaluable - me !! - to others with my condition - although = they havnt heard as yet of a Bulky Pit and a Cyclical Pit Tumour, PTSD and Hypothyroidism all at once !!- GO ME - RARITY ! Ohhh I have been know to wind the odd person up tto - and have the odd fight !! ;) !

 

Ohhh I have been know to wind the odd person up tto - and have the odd fight !! ;) !

 

 

OK - NOW im knackered - ive passed about 5 hours on the computer and havnt had breakfast or lunch - or remembered to go to the loo - so - I usually have to rush to the loo - then that's it - im done - my head stops - and I HAVE TO GO TO BED - I sleep then for maybe 2 hours - exhausted = Then get up - chat to kids - Ohhh ok - I say chat to kids - but I cant usually think of what to say - so they tel me about their day - I never remember and usually end up asking later on - and really wind them up - then I have dinner- whoever is here - ie Alan / Mum / Dad / Gaye wil have warmed the dinner - ( Or in mum and dads case made and brought it round with them !! - don't think they trust my food !! !) and then - If I havnt 'Stormed' ( A MAD time where I get VERY VERY VERY VERY ARGUEMENTATIVE AND SO VERY ANGRY AND AGGRESSIVE ) and taken myself back upstairs and HAVE to take a whole handful of Diazepam to calm down as its a over stimulation of Hormone that has caused me to be sooo Volatile !  - If I am ok I will eat dinner - ( Often I go without ! ) YS YES YES - IM HUGE AND FAT - BUT NOT BECAUSE OF OVEREATING ! - Its because my body is in starvation mode and EVERYTHING I do eat gets put on in fat - AND I am no longer able to do excersise as the over exertion does my head in !! so - no chance of loosing - Its such a pain in the arse as I did used to do 5x2hour sessions at the gym then Aqua - until I had a 'Storm' there and then was told I couldn't work out there any more as they were not insured for my particular condition .... Mind you - Now - I don't think I could - as it would set my head off just thinking about it - but - when I was their for the Over a year that I did - I LOVED IT !! ( Shhhhhhhhhh and all those fit guys - yummy !! )

Anyways - Now its washing up time - and I ALWAYS HAVE TO WASH UP - whether im ok or not - as cant stand having dirty plates in the sink - so - I could be stood there in floods of tears as it actually physically hurts to use my arms - BUT - I MAKE MYSELF DO IT - I don't want to be a Burden to anyone ... Ok - Ok - I put stuff away wet - Shoot me - But - By this point I cant dry anything - and TBH I cant be bothered !! = so - the stuff goes away wet and I then make Coffee - ohh and kettle on - and lunch boxes are now on a timer to have ready before the kettle boils - OHHHH DONT JUDGE ME !! - Sandwich, 3 x fruit things - Drink and Yogurt ! = DONE !! in fridge - and sit down for the TV - The only things in insist on watching ( Unless im ill - ) are Eastenders and Holby !! - LOVE EM !! - and omg sexy doctors - yummy !!

 Harry and Raf - Yummy !

Then - 9pm comes and I go to bed - usualy before the kids - lmao - but- 9pm - and that's it- I go upstairs TOTALY EXHAUSTED AND EYES DROOPING - wash - teeth - loo - Bed and BOING- IM WIDE AWAKE - and could be until 2am !!= ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYING = But apparently a normal thing for people who have what I do - My brain just starts on over drive and that's it  - im off !! ........ Then - When I think I can sleep - I put my phone down - ( I usually go on the internet ) and then go straight to sleep - But - I always KNOW when im going to be able to sleep !! - Then I may wake in the middle of the night lmao - ok ok - morning - for the loo again - about 4am = then Cas will come in at around 6am !! - Could say my sleep is shot to bits !!

So - well this Blog has gone onto A DAY IN THE LIFE !!! - lmao - and that's it - that's what I do - UNLESS - Mum or Gaye Or Alan ( occasionally ) or friends take me out for coffee ! ( Mum and Gaye do also take me shopping !! which I love - but I have to keep close to them and not be too busy - once again if there is too many people - its a brain overload - not that I care less about a lot of people - its just my brain cant cope .... Then I just go giddy and head shuts down and slury speech and omg then I start crying and holding my head and look a right loon ! !! - Nothing helps until literally im in a dark room and ALL stimulas has been taken away !! .... Then my head calms - unless I take loads of Diazepam again !! Then I may calm down !! )

So - that's about it - The life I havnt got anymore ( Work and Animals and Friends and stuff ) has been taken over with giving positivity to others - and that does keep me entertained and HELPS ME COPE WITH WHAT I DO HAVE !!! = So - The moral of the story - Be Positive and Motivational to others - and in return IT DOES HELP YOU !!! .......