OFF ON ONE .. Marmite V's Vegemite - SO VERSATILE !!!

OK - I don't want to moan - but - I WILL ! - 

Nearly half a million page views and Hardly any comments 

or messages - it's amazing - 

are people that Bloody rude ! 

Excuse me while I munch a Toast and Marmite ermm - well - it's not a sandwich - it's just a bit of toast - but - not toast on it's own - it is chaperoned by the Marmite - so - what do i call that ?? Oh Marmite on Toast ? Brown Toast with Marmite ? 

Oh, NOW THIS IS WINDING ME RIGHT UP,  I type Marmite in this Blog - and instantly - it comes up with a Red line underneath ( Mis-spelt )  - OH GOTTA be American - if i put in the American equivilant - i'm sure it would be fine - Oh - Is there even an American Substitute ? - Well - OBVIOUSLY it would not be the same - NOTHING is the same - Nothing Beats the Superior Taste of Marmite - 

The Australian's TRIED ( Bless em ) with Vegemite 

= ( OMG That was unopposed by Spell Check 

- that's pure DISCRIMINATION  ! ) 

But - Vegemite is a very poor representation of the delicious thick salty goo that is born and bred in ENGLAND, and for those that are interested, to be precise - 

Burton on Trent in Staffodshire in 1902 !! - 

OMG Can you believe that I am being EDUCATIONAL !! - GO ME ! 

Yeah - Vegemite - perrlease - it's just well - Nothing - it's a paste - well - to be precise, a Meaty, Salty Punch in the face ! For those of you that are LUCKY enough not to have experienced the Boring almost gritty gloop - it's made out of LEFTOVER Brewer's Yeast ( At least we use decent fresh yeast ! ) with a few ( probably old - left on the shelves ) Spices and a few Vegetables thrown in - and - to top it all - IT'S BROWN ! - At least out Dear old Marmite is Black - a good solid - faithful color .... ( That's not meant in the slightest bit Racist - But - for those of you out there - If you think i am - OHH THINK WHAT YOU LIKE - I'M NOT - AND NEVER HAVE BEEN RACIST - but - if you wanna be petty = I couldn't give a ....... )

 OK - Marmite is Nothing like Vegemite - in my eyes - but - it's like nothing you have ever tasted before - it's Smooth, Dark, Bitter, Salty, a hint of beer and Fire - and once it get's you - it NEVER lets go - You will want it - first thing in the morning - 11oClock, Lunchtime - Noon, Tea, Dinner, Evening Snack and omg - 

YOU WAKE UP FOR THE BLOODY STUFF !! 

It warms you to the cockles of your heart and keeps you safe and warm - England Personified !! 

BUT WHATEVER YOU DO - 

DON'T THINK IT IS NUTELLA 

AND SPREAD IT THICKLY - 

Treat it with RESPECT ... 

Just a tincy scrape - That's all you need 

- LESS IS DEFINITELY MORE 

Don't be lulled into a false sense of security - 

Your mate saying - oh just have a teaspoonful = 

DON'T DO IT 

OK - Vegemite is known as a low salt food over in Oz - but - here - it's classed as a High Salt food - BUT - being fair - Our own Marmite is fairly Salty - Oh and now i'm apologising ( ohh good me - taking it on the chin when i make a mistake ! ) - Marmite - has more blinking salt than Vegemite - so - 

Why, I wonder is Vegemite on the High Salt list - 

and Marmite not - Mm Interesting ( Britain - are we being Deceptive to our Australian Cousins - Mmmm - BUT I have my Brother who lives in Australia = so - They are my Australian Brothers - BUT - I'm a girl, and some of them are girls - well rather a lot actually ! - 

Oh even i have lost my train of thought here !! ) !! 

BUT Marmite has more Dietary Fibre, More Carbohydrate 

( Keeping you filled up for longer ) and More Protein Than Vegemite, so - GO MARMITE - YAYYY !!! 

But - OK - Salt is the disadvantage - but to a greater extent it is our blessing - as - we all know - SALT ADD'S FLAVOR !! Dear olde Marmite definitely has the edge, 

BUT - OK - I WAS BROUGHT UP ON IT 

- so - Maybe that's why i am so passionate about it !! - Anything Marmite Tasting - to me - is OK - ohhhh - alright - for those of you who are going to mutter about this - NO - I would NOT eat a Marmite Doughnut or Marmite Ice cream - It is unequivocally a SAVORY item ( Once again I have to take this back - as - while doing some research - omg - yes - i researched this after I decided i was going to bang on with it - as i had started it !! and Ohhh Please God - 

there are LOADS of SWEET recipes for Marmite - and OK - None of which i have tried - ( My cooking is dreadful - But - They do look delicious ! ) - Marmite is without a doubt one item to be cherished on Toast - as aforementioned - or with cheese - In a Sandwich - A Cheese Toastie - Warmed and had spread on Eggy Bread - Ohhh the possibilities are endless ! - 

and if i am being Honorable = ( Which i never am ! ) I guess - * No sounds of gagging being mad * Vegemite could be used to the same outcome - Although - OBVIOUSLY Not as Tasty or Wholesome .... ( Ohhh and i have just found out that My Marmite Friend has actually been on the Banned list / illegal list in Denmark untill just recently - Because it was far too high in Salt - But - well - 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2731746/The-Vikings-defeated-Denmark-ready-love-Marmite-overturning-three-year-ban.html

MAN UP DENMARKIANS ! 

( oh and before you laugh at me - THAT WAS A JOKE - the Danish Pastry came come SOMEWHERE ! ) 

Nowdays - Marmite is not just a spread for indulging ones senses ( Because ohh yes - it uses them all - OHHH IT DOES IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER - JUST SHUSH ! ) 

and enjoying on the tongue - ( Don't be rude ) 

BUT - some clever Bright Spark at Marmite HQ has come up with the ingenious idea of making our dear old 'friend' into other savory bites and snacks 

 can now enjoy 

Cheese Marmite Snacks 

- in handy lunchbox size single serve snack packs - also Marmite crisps, Marmite Bread sticks, Marmite Rice Cakes, Peanuts, Cashews, and now even MARMITE CHOCOLATE !! - 

I kid you not - 

I found a SWEET version of Marmite Too- 

Blow me down with a feather and call me Trevor  !! 

OMG I HAVE JUST FOUND A 

MARMITE AND MANGO SMOOTHIE - 

I JEST YOU NOT !

Ohhh Now i feel as though i have to include a Marmite recipe for you - just to show it's versatility - So - Here we Go - 

Recipe 

MARMITE SHEPHERD'S PIE - A Good Old English Meal - with a bit of zing ! 

Serves: 4

Prep Time: 1 hr (including potato and lentil prep, and sauce simmering)

Cooking Time: 15-20mins

Skill Level: Simples

Equipment

Chopping board

Knife

3 x Saucepans ( 2 medium/ 1 small)

Masher

Oven proof dish

Ingredients

Filling

100g green lentils (uncooked)

1 onion (diced)

3 garlic cloves (minced)

300g mushrooms (your favourite type, chopped)

1tbsp olive oil

1 tinned chopped tomatoes 

¾tsp dried oregano 

dash of marmite  (like a tsp)

salt & pepper 

—————————————————————————————————

Mash

1kg potatoes (peeled and chopped)

100ml milk (warm)

75g cheddar cheese (grated)

3 tbsp fresh chives (chopped)

knob of butter 

salt & pepper 

Optional sides:

Your fave steamed/boiled veg

Veggie gravy

Method

Put lentils in small saucepan and add DOUBLE the amount of boiling water, boil over medium heat for 30mins. (You may need to top up the water if it starts to get low)

Whilst the lentils are boiling, peel and chop the potatoes into equal sized pieces (so they take the same amount of time to cook).

Place chopped potatoes in medium sized saucepan, cover in boiling water and simmer over medium heat for 15-20mins (until potatoes are soft enough for you to put a fork through).

Drain, saving some of the potato water for later.

Whilst the potatoes and the lentils are boiling, chop the onions and mushrooms, and mince the garlic. 

Once the lentils have cooked (they should be soft), drain and wash as they will be scummy. Okay so now the potatoes and lentils are ready and your veg is chopped.

In a medium sized saucepan heat the olive oil over a medium heat. Add the onions and garlic.

Reduce heat and sauté until onions become translucent.

Add the mushrooms and cook until water has expelled from mushrooms (this will take about 10mins).

Add lentils and oregano, and cook for a couple of minutes.

Next, add the tinned tomatoes. Increase heat. Season and simmer for 5 mins.

Reduce heat to low and simmer for a further 10mins.

Preheat the oven to 200c/180c fan/Gas 6.

Whilst sauce is simmering, add a splash of potato water (couple of tbsp) to potatoes and mash.

To the mashed potato add warm milk, cheese and season with salt and pepper. Mash some more (get out all the lumps and adding more potato water if necessary.

To the now thoroughly mashed potato, add the chopped chives and mix.

Pour sauce into ovenproof dish and top with dollops of mashed potato. 

Using the back of a spoon spread the mashed potato, covering the sauce. 

Using a fork score the top of the pie.

Place in oven and cook for 15-20mins until top of pie is slightly golden.

Remove from oven and serve with veg and gravy.

NOW A SWEET TREAT - I JEST YOU NOT ! 

CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH MARMITE AND CARAMEL BUTTERCREAM 

INGREDIENTS

FOR THE CAKE

175g plain chocolate, broken into pieces (minimum 64% cocoa solids)

175g softened unsalted butter

75g unrefined caster sugar

4 eggs, yolks and whites separated

90g ground almonds

90g plain flour, sifted

FOR THE MARMITE CARAMEL BUTTERCREAM

120g unsalted butter at room temperature

180ml milk

440g soft brown sugar

480g icing sugar, sifted

2tsp marmite

2tbsp milk (may be required)

INSTRUCTIONS

Oven temp: 150°C/300°F/Gas Mark 2

Grease and line two 17cm/7inch sandwich tins.

Melt the chocolate in a bowl over a pan of simmering water until it melts. Do not let the bowl touch the water and never melt the chocolate directly in a pan as it goes grainy. Stir well.

Cream the butter and sugar together in a large bowl until frothy and light. Beat in the egg yolks bit by bit. Add the melted chocolate and the ground almonds.

Whisk the egg whites in a seperate bowl until soft peaks form. Do not go on beating or they will collapse.

Using a large metal spoon, gently fold the egg white and the flour into the mixture bit by bit until it has all been used.

Spread the mixture evenly into the sandwich tins and baker for 20 minutes. It’s a good idea to check them after 18 minutes, the sponge should be springy, not firm.

Remove the tins from the oven and leave to cool for a couple of minutes before turning them onto a wire rack.

Once the cakes are nearly cooled, you can make the buttercream. It needs to used almost straightaway as it dries quite quickly and is hard to manipulate. In a large pan, melt the butter then mix in the brown sugar,milk and marmite, stirring until it comes to the boil, then boil for a minute.

Taste test and add more marmite if desired (remember that the taste will become diluted with the addition of the icing sugar).

Remove from the heat, transfer to a large bowl and whisk in half of the icing sugar then leave to cool, checking and stirring regularly so that the consistency is regulated.

Once cooled, whisk in the remaining icing sugar and check the consistency. If too thick, add 2tbsp milk to loosen the buttercream.

Take 1/3 of the marmite caramel buttercream and spread on top of one of the cake bases. Then sandwich other cake base on top. Spead the rest of the mixture on the top and sides of the cake and smooth with a palette knife.

OK OK - TO BE FAIR - VEGEMITE COULD ( If you really felt the need ) BE USED IN EITHER OF THESE RECIPES BUT - DON'T HOLD ME TO ANYTHING THAT MAY OCCUR.

WHY OHH WHY AM I DOING THIS POST - lol - I did kinda wonder this half way through writing - as It really did start out being a post on Subscription Boxes ! - TRUE ! 

But - As I was eating my Toast at the time - I kinda got wrapped up in it - Oh Not Literally - Now - that's plain - wrong - but - ok - I'm guessing some dodgy souls will no doubt be trying that tonight to spice up their sex lives ! - Ohhhhhh to have a .......................... Slice of Marmite on Toast !! ;) 

Oh yeah - I carried it on - 

because Marmite has such a LIKE AND DISLIKE factor - and i'm presuming that Vegemite does too - so - I'm wondering if this is what I have !! - lol - Mmmmmmm, 

Am I like the Marmite of the Human World ? - 

You either Love me or Hate me !! - 

I have a slight inkling that i'm right ! 

SSBBW OBESE & POSITIVE - Here's how !

Well - If you have not read my blog preceding this - Then - Get right back to the Menu and Read it !!! - All this will then become apparent !! 

( Oh - Because i'm nice I will include a link !! 

http://peggatypawz.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/im-fat-whew-whew-yeah-and-my-being-fat.html ) 

OK - So - Now you have the VERY Basics - as - I could have so gone on forever about symptoms and effects and all sorts - but - The sellotape worked - I kept restrained !!! This was no mean feat I can tell you !!

Now - That is a bloody good Title - Even if I do say so myself - I wanna see loads of views on this - There was 17 in 16 minutes on the one linked above - and that's not bad - Hope it doesn't stop there !! Cor - I do have A LOT to say today - I do feel very very sorry for my postman - who - BEING GORGEOUS, About 30, Tall, Dark and VERY VERY Handsome = and wearing Shorts today ( it's almost in the minus here at the moment ) I did keep him talking about frostbite to his legs ( Did not feel appropriate to go any higher ! ) and how he MUST moisturizer when he gets home, otherwise his poor LEGS would drop off - and - as i like him being my Postie, as he has a lovely smile and a great 'look' - It would greatly sadden me !! I think he likes Chatting with me - as he is always very chatty and always in no hurry to leave - I Did NEARLY offer a coffee - BUT - Felt women who offer Coffee are after one thing - and ALTHOUGH this could have been lovely - I Didn't want him to think i was after that ! Admitting here that i POSSIBLY could have been after that but have FAR TO MANY MORALS, and it was NOT for him to know !! My mother would be proud, but my Bestie would be so ANNOYED AT ME AS HE IS GORGEOUS !!

OK OK - SHUTTING UP AND CARRYING ON !! :

I'M 41 - 
SSBBW OBESE & 
POSITIVE / CONFIDENT AS HELL 

Yup - I know - It's hard to believe - I am 41 - Included is a picture of me aged 2 weeks - and about 7  - n one today !

BE-YOU-TIFUL ! = I KNOW ! 

and Yes, I am classed as Medically Obese - But - To me - That's just a saying !! 
I'm actually not sure if i am SSBBW or BBW - *laughing* 
I just think 'I'm Me' - Curvy and Be-YOU-tiful !! 
SSBBW - SuperSize Big Beautiful Woman 
BBW - Big Beautiful Woman 
For those that Don't know ! 

OK I'm Positive - Because - I KNOW - for a FACT - that there is nothing i can do about it - I can't lose weight and keep it off at the same rate as everyone else, Due to aforementioned in other post, So - Now - Instead of being Miserable, and Depressed ( I have LOADS of other things I can be Miserable and Depressed about instead of that ! - * FacePalm * ! ) I do what I can to be Positive, and FOR ME 

Thats 

Wearing what I like
Having my Own Unique style
Saying what I feel
Expressing Emotion
Doing what I like to do
Not letting people Upset me through what they say ( They are usually just Uneducated ) 
Not letting people upset me through what they do ( Once again - Uneducated ) 

Practice Self - Acceptance = This is the FIRST way to becoming at ONE with yourself !! 
If you HATE who you are - and Over-eat - Find your Triggers 
Why do you Overeat ?? 
It may be as simple as ' I love food - So I eat ' 
AND THIS IS OK - Don't beat yourself up 
But - Now ask the question - Is it worth the Fat Shaming ? 
If YOU love food more - and are strong in character - then 
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT AND CAN PUT UP WITH THE JIBES AND THE INSULTS - YOU DO IT - AND BE BLOODY PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE - YOU ROCK  !!  

But - always remember - If Your NOT happy - and want to lose - there are ways to help you - you never have to do it by yourself ! And - Give yourself a pat on the back for at least trying ....

If you Can't lose weight for ANY REASON - Medically, or Mentally or Psychologically then - 
COME ON - 
DON'T BLAME YOURSELF 
YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH THIS TO BE ABLE TO LIVE A HAPPY LIFE AND THAT'S SURELY WHAT EVERYONE WANTS ?
You have NO CONTROL over medical matters / illness - Mental and Physical - So - STOP RIGHT NOW - YOU HAVE TO LOOSE THIS FEELING TO BE ABLE TO GO FORWARD 

( Please excuse Capitals - I use them Automatically when i'm saying thing's i'm passionate about. I am just trying to get it across that i MEAN what i'm saying !!! 
- I'm not really shouting at you !! 
* Asking you to Please stop Quivering now *  ) 
Things that you start to do will not be thought about by people around and about - they won't notice any difference I bet - BUT YOU WILL ..

Once you start to feel better about yourself - You will start to do it automatically - and then - Others are always drawn to you - and try to almost 'feed'  - pardon the pun - off your Uplifting optimism .... This - Well - for me - Is a HUGE part of feeling good about myself - I love to help and make others smile and see what is good about what they have going on in their lives, and Turning Negatives into Positives, Something is bad - But - How good that this didn't happen - because it could have been far far worse - Then - They go away happy - and I have done good ! = So Reinforcing my Positivity and Confidence ! ( OK - With my Brain the way it is - I do sometimes get this totally wrong - and say something totally inappropriate to the wrong person at the wrong time - BUT - Most of my friends 'Know' me - and usually it's funny anyways - so - Be able to laugh at yourself - That's ALWAYS a good trait to have ! ) 

A few things that i have done to actually help myself in the 'Not Worrying process' - all are easy and don't cost a penny .... It just takes thought !!

DONT LOOK AT THE SCALES = THROW THEM AWAY - Does it matter if you have put on a pound this week - Nope - Makes no difference - I'm still sexy as hell !

LISTEN TO COMPLIMENTS - People Don't say thing's they DON'T mean !

ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS - and to help myself with this, when ( not if ) I get a compliment - I acknowledge it by saying
" I know - But - Thanks for noticing !! " - It makes THEM smile - and then YOU smile !!

WHEN YOU SEE A FAT OR A SKINNY PERSON ( Because obviously this goes for Men as well as Women )  - LOOK AT THEM - WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT THEM ? Thin women are beautiful too !! - Then - if you see someone who is truly Eye Catching to you * Take a real big deep breath * = GO AND TELL THEM ....... - Yup - I do this all the time - But - for me it's automatic now - I have no issues about telling Men, or Women - " OMG That outfit looks fab, Love the color ! - and i just smile and walk off, I have NEVER had a bad reaction from it - and then - I always get a smile !! Just made their day - Because - remember - No-Body else in the whole world may have said that to them - and for a stranger to do it - MEANS A LOT !!

If you hear a Negativity = IGNORE IT - 
Who actually cares what the Ignorant / Uneducated Person Thinks He/She will probably have far more insecurities than you - and - 
There is NO POINT getting in a debate with them - because they usually have just graduated from the Local 'Lying' School and proceed to tell you your Medical History and how you should be 'curing' yourself or they will preach statistics of the Local Council for the Health Treatment of FAT people in your area !! 
Laugh and walk away - That will upset them far far more ! 
YOU KEEP THE UPPER HAND !

WHEN YOU JIGGLE WHEN YOU WIGGLE - 
EMBRACE AND ENJOY ! - 
YOUR FAT - OF COURSE YOUR GOING TO WIGGLE 
AND OMG - HOW SASSY IS THAT - 
CUTE CAPTIVATING CURVES - !!!!

Don't feel the need to pull down/up your Shorts/Top/Dress when sitting - Obviously unless they reveal far too much ! -

Your Gorgeous - 
Flaunt your Curves

If your out, and your friend orders a Skinny Latte, BUT - YOU want to have a FULL ON FATTY LATTE = order it 
It's up to YOU want you do
I have even had a cashier ask - " Don't YOU want a Skinny Too " - Too which I replied = " Ohhh No Thank YOU ... I DON'T need to Diet " 
- She smiled and shouted to the ladies behind her 
- " One Skinny and one " NORMAL " Latte please Girls " 
I WAS DELIGHTED !! 

WHATEVER YOU DO - DON'T USE STUPID WORDS FOR DIFFERENT DAY'S - IE - Green / Red day or Treat Day / Bad day - 
NO DAY IS BAD - If YOU feel YOU have eaten too much one day- Then DON'T WORRY = You can do something about it 
If you start to think of things as Naughty or 'Treating' yourself 
You will crave it ! 
NEVER USE A SWEET / MEAL / ETC AS A PRIZE FOR DOING SOMETHING - OR AS A GIFT 
FOOD IS NEEDED FOR LIVING - so live ! Eat it !
A LITTLE BIT OF SOMETHING DOES YOU GOOD 
WHEN YOU WANT ! 

DO YOU LIKE THAT DRESS YOUR WEARING 
THEN BLOODY WEAR IT
If people don't like it - THAT'S THEIR LOOK OUT, not yours !
I have a Bright Neon Long Maxi Dress - that is the same color as a workman's jacket - everyone tells me it's far too bright - a bit see through and totally inappropriate for walking down the high street in - I LOVE IT - So I wear it - and get loads of Compliments - and Workmen asking to borrow it !! - Brilliant - made them smile !!

Hairy legs - Well - For me it's easy = I have very very light color hairs - so - I shave when i can be bothered !!! - and anyways - I like the feel ! = But - I do have to say - If i'm wearing Spaghetti Strap Tops - I do Shave my Pits - But - Only Because I WANT TO - I feel better and I think it is more hygienic ! 
If YOU WANT TO DO IT - THEN THAT'S FINE - But NEVER be told you HAVE too ! DO IT FOR YOU !
SAME GOES FOR MAKE UP - Wear it if YOU want too - BUT - DON'T FOLLOW THE CROWD !! 

Don't get hooked into the Media Stereotype of 
DRESS FOR YOUR SHAPE / SIZE 
If you can get something in your size - and you like it - YOU WEAR IT 
If you like something - but can't get it in your size - 
INTERNET SHOPPING - Loads of places will make what you want !!!! NEVER BE PUT OFF !!!!

BLACK IS SLIMMING - YES - BUT - If your not at a Funeral ( and my Funeral is going to be a FUNeral !! ) 
THEN BE BRIGHT, BOLD, BLAZING, BEAMING & BRILLIANT !!

DON'T erase that Selfie cause you look fat = YOU ARE FAT 
Get used to it - People can see your Fat - So 
BE WHO YOU ARE - Don't hide - You have nothing to be ashamed of ! 

Don't be ashamed of Artistic Nudity or a bit of Cleavage !! 
There's nothing better for self confidence than getting a lovely photo taken of yourself or by yourself and showing it off to your friends and family 
Everyone has a Body - and Everyone should be at ease with it ....... If people don't like seeing it - then - ARE THEY REALLY YOUR FRIENDS - They should embrace your confidence building by Commenting and Supporting you .....

STOP JUDGING OTHERS ON HOW THEY LOOK 
There may be a reason why they look the way they do - and 
WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ! If You stop - then others do to !

Lastly = Have a look into the Body Positivity Movement On the Internet - This is a great place to start 
Also BBW Groups on Facebook / Twitter / Pinterest - 
The Social Networking Sites 
They are Fabulous for boosting confidence and getting you too see the Good in who you are ....... 

NOW LOOK IN THE MIRROR ............

YOUR GORGEOUS !!! REPEAT ........................... !

I'm FAT = WHEW WHEW - YEAH - AND ? My 'BEING FAT' STORY !

FATNESS IS NOT THE SAME FOR EVERYONE
THERE MAY BE MORE TOO IT - THAN MEETS THE EYE !!

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK !

LMAO - OMG - I have just had another person ( who i opened my OWN front door too ) Turn round and say - " Wow - your HUGE " - Now - Considering i was in my own house - and he was knocking on my door ( To TRY to sell me a new Porch - well - not new porch- as i don't have one - but - to TRY to sell me a porch - I Don't feel this was the BEST opening line he could have thought of - and being fair - OK - I must have shocked him - as yes - I AM FAT - AND I AM VERY BRIGHTLY COLORED - AND YOU KNOW WHAT - I COULDN'T CARE LESS !!

Lots of people have asked HOW i am so confident and WHY i do what i do ( Bring attention to myself and wear clothes that i do etc ) and Why I don't do something about it !! - lots of laughing - OK - Let me start at the beginning !!



Ever since i was young - my weight has flatuated oh no - word doesn't like that - OH - OK - Fluctuated - THAT's BETTER ! - Thought Flat was a funny term to be used for Weight Movements !! Oh Weight Movement = It's not called that either - but - i'm guessing you know what i mean !! Up, down, up, down, and mum even took me to the doctor as she was SURE i had a Thyroid problem - BUT - the doctor was a Jackass and WITHOUT even testing - told her that I ate too much and i should diet and exercise at 9 years old - Well - I HONESTLY can say - at that point - I DID NOT EAT TO EXCESS - AND I WAS ALWAYS ACTIVE - But - OK - Must be doing something = So mum started the Healthy Eating Routine- and i went to a Dietitian - a lady who tried to tell me about getting out more - and playing games in the street and eating a better diet - Mm - I started to get a little exacerbated at this - as - I was out all the time playing - and - MY DIET WAS GOOD !!
So - This is when i kinda went a bit haywire for a while - well - if people tell you that you are eating - IN MY MIND - that's what i'm going to do - So I started Comfort Eating - I'd buy things from the store on the way to school - I'd never eat in front of people - as i was far too self conscious - So - I sat in my room - and ATE - and ate - and ate - ( hiding papers and wrappers anywhere i could find - Mum and dad now very very worried - and knew i was comfort eating - but - i pretended i wasn't ) OK - NOW I WAS FAT !!! ...... BUT - thing that was different - I had brought that on myself = So - I HATED MYSELF - No point going to the Doctor - they would tell me to diet - and - at this point - that's what i should have done - This carried on all through school - I felt very picked on at school - apart from a few VERY GOOD and close totally understanding friends - whom i still have to this day. - Through my School Years and Early Working Life - I yo-yo'ed = BUT - even when i wasn't eating to excess - I was STILL putting on weight ...

I then started work - and this is when i decided enough was enough - and no word of a lie - I drank one slim-fast shake made with Skimmed milk and water for Breakfast and One for dinner - THAT WAS IT - Everything else Mum bought - I threw - and EVENTUALLY - I lost most of the weight - and got down to about 11 stone - which - for me - I was happy. But - It was quite a slow process - and - for most people to have that - and be VERY VERY active - The weight should have dramatically come off - It didn't - But - I got there ......

Then I met my First Boyfriend - Alan - married him - and Two years later - Had Tom !! Weight then started going back on - I had to eat !! ... But - Due to a terrible birth - I was given about 12 Epidurals - and they didn't work - UNTIL LATER - Then i was in bed for months - Awful excrutiating pain - and headaches and i basically couldn't walk - So - I ate - and ate and ate - all the wrong things - and  got FAT again !! ...... Then - For a few months - it was superb - all great at home - and no pain and i was able to do everything = So - I went back to work - and Alan stayed with Tom - I lost a lot of weight again on the Slim Fast Diet !! But - That was fine = I was starving = But - it was worth it - SO I THOUGHT ...... Then we decided to have Cassia - and once again - I fell Pregnant easily - and OMG - The weight just went on - I was doing nothing - and it just kept going up and up - at one point i was eating nothing but fruit - and i was still putting on 7lb a week - Of course NO-ONE believed that i was secretly eating again - and i could not blame them = BUT - I KNEW I WAS NOT !!! ..... Anyways - I had Cassia = and a few weeks later was in a Myexdema Coma - A Rare and Life-Threatening Clinical condition that is entirely due to undiagnosed LONG TERM hypothyroidism  - ( Yeah - THAT DRASTIC - and yup - I am the person that DIDN'T have Thyroid issues )- according to my GP at the time  - BUT - was later Diagnosed as a Surgery First - The NEW GP said that my levels had come back so far off scale that i needed URGENT Hospital attention - But - by this point - I was actually unable to move or communicate - and the EX had rung an ambulance ! - Anyways - a drip of Thyroid and i was good as new - well - OK - exaggeration = But - I was OK........

OK - so - I thought this is where all my troubles would finish - I have been diagnosed with Hypothyroidism = Weight should come off now as my metabolism is now working ( due to medication - that i have to be on for the rest of my life - and if i fail to take it - i'll die !!!! * says with a smile ! * YOUR NOT ILL - LOSE WEIGHT- DO SOME EXERCISE - TAKE THAT YOU BASTARD ! Not that i hold a grudge !  )

Anyway - I thought all was good now - BUT - OMG - I started putting weight back on - lots of it - and - nothing i could do - ( Oh gotta remember this is a overview - lol !! NOT a life History ! ) OK - So - Found out that was just one contributing factor to my weight - I then had the GP tell me that due to LOTS of other symptoms - she was sure i had a Pituitary Tumor - Just behind the eyes - and where as the Thyroid Gland runs the metabolism - The Pituitary Gland - called the Master Gland - Runs, basically, EVERYTHING ELSE !!! - BUT - this could take a while to Diagnose - So - I have to keep going for MRI's, and Blood Tests etc - Well - OK - EVENTUALLY ( and Thank God my GP at this point was so fabulous ) 7 years later - The MRI picked up a Pituitary Tumor - THIS IS THE REASON I CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT !!!! - My body basically thinks it is in Famine Mode - and Stores EVERYTHING that i eat or drink !! - So - Now I KNOW it is NOT me - and nothing i can do - I eat and drink - what i want ( Which actually and 100% honestly is NOT A LOT ! ) when i want, and if someone says something - I can't let it bother me !! So instead of dwelling on the HUGENESS of my Ass - I embrace it - Laugh - OK - Not literally - and go with it - I dress how i want - even if it goes against what people tell me - I wear my hair how I LIKE, the color i wish - and OK - I may be making a statement - but - surely - IT'S BETTER TO BE HAPPY AND FAT - THEN MISERABLE AND FAT !! Due to my illness ( which makes THE HULK look like Mary Poppins )  I am a miserable Suicidal Paranoid mare a lot of the time - so - When I am 'me' I like to laugh and joke and be funny and smile and help others smile - and OK, a lot of people think I am very childish, and not responsible etc etc- BUT - In fact - I am just doing what EVERYONE ELSE WISHES THEY COULD DO - I am enjoying being me - and loving who I am AND TRYING TO HELP PEOPLE DO THE SAME !! If that's a bad thing - SHOOT ME !!

So - Oh My God - I have gone off what i actually wanted to chat about - But - I guess you needed the background - and for me - who can talk and talk / write about themselves A LOT - this is short = so - thank me later !!  - OK - Oh - I've just read the title - and Mm - Yes - I've answered the question - But - It's NOT the question i wanted to answer - which - Oh My God - That's ANOTHER Question !! More of a HOW I AM POSITIVE AND WHAT I DO TO STAY POSITIVE !! - So - I am going to write that blog - as a follow up to this one i think !! Because - By Now - I'm guessing YOU NEED A COFFEE !!

Ohhh Yes - Mr Porch Man - That's why i went into this - When i get comment's like his - Come on - KEEP UP !! - Remember the Guy at aforementioned Front Door said " Oh Your HUGE ", I always felt it compulsory to tell them why ...... and Now - well - Today - I just turned to him - Looked him in the eye and said with a great big smile  " YEAH - LONG STORY - I AM FAT = AND I'M BLOODY LOVELY !! " - Then I laughed and I felt GOOD !!
He looked at me, smiled and said " Yeah Sexy too " = and winked, we both just started laughing = HOW GOOD WAS THAT !!! - If I had been negative to him - Then - I am almost certain he would have been negative right back at me !! = But - Because I have a 'devil can't care' attitude = then so did he !! Poor Bloke still didn't get a sale - But - We had a laugh and he smiled because of something I said - and he now will think differently before talking to Fat people again = I HOPE - So = Such a good day !!

( Number two of this story will be published asap - maybe today - maybe tomorrow - BUT SOON ! )