OK - I don't want to moan - but - I WILL ! -
Nearly half a million page views and Hardly any comments
or messages - it's amazing -
are people that Bloody rude !
Excuse me while I munch a Toast and Marmite ermm - well - it's not a sandwich - it's just a bit of toast - but - not toast on it's own - it is chaperoned by the Marmite - so - what do i call that ?? Oh Marmite on Toast ? Brown Toast with Marmite ?
Oh, NOW THIS IS WINDING ME RIGHT UP, I type Marmite in this Blog - and instantly - it comes up with a Red line underneath ( Mis-spelt ) - OH GOTTA be American - if i put in the American equivilant - i'm sure it would be fine - Oh - Is there even an American Substitute ? - Well - OBVIOUSLY it would not be the same - NOTHING is the same - Nothing Beats the Superior Taste of Marmite -
The Australian's TRIED ( Bless em ) with Vegemite
= ( OMG That was unopposed by Spell Check
- that's pure DISCRIMINATION ! )
But - Vegemite is a very poor representation of the delicious thick salty goo that is born and bred in ENGLAND, and for those that are interested, to be precise -
Burton on Trent in Staffodshire in 1902 !! -
OMG Can you believe that I am being EDUCATIONAL !! - GO ME !
Yeah - Vegemite - perrlease - it's just well - Nothing - it's a paste - well - to be precise, a Meaty, Salty Punch in the face ! For those of you that are LUCKY enough not to have experienced the Boring almost gritty gloop - it's made out of LEFTOVER Brewer's Yeast ( At least we use decent fresh yeast ! ) with a few ( probably old - left on the shelves ) Spices and a few Vegetables thrown in - and - to top it all - IT'S BROWN ! - At least out Dear old Marmite is Black - a good solid - faithful color .... ( That's not meant in the slightest bit Racist - But - for those of you out there - If you think i am - OHH THINK WHAT YOU LIKE - I'M NOT - AND NEVER HAVE BEEN RACIST - but - if you wanna be petty = I couldn't give a ....... )
OK - Marmite is Nothing like Vegemite - in my eyes - but - it's like nothing you have ever tasted before - it's Smooth, Dark, Bitter, Salty, a hint of beer and Fire - and once it get's you - it NEVER lets go - You will want it - first thing in the morning - 11oClock, Lunchtime - Noon, Tea, Dinner, Evening Snack and omg -
YOU WAKE UP FOR THE BLOODY STUFF !!
It warms you to the cockles of your heart and keeps you safe and warm - England Personified !!
BUT WHATEVER YOU DO -
DON'T THINK IT IS NUTELLA
AND SPREAD IT THICKLY -
Treat it with RESPECT ...
Just a tincy scrape - That's all you need
- LESS IS DEFINITELY MORE
Don't be lulled into a false sense of security -
Your mate saying - oh just have a teaspoonful =
DON'T DO IT
OK - Vegemite is known as a low salt food over in Oz - but - here - it's classed as a High Salt food - BUT - being fair - Our own Marmite is fairly Salty - Oh and now i'm apologising ( ohh good me - taking it on the chin when i make a mistake ! ) - Marmite - has more blinking salt than Vegemite - so -
Why, I wonder is Vegemite on the High Salt list -
and Marmite not - Mm Interesting ( Britain - are we being Deceptive to our Australian Cousins - Mmmm - BUT I have my Brother who lives in Australia = so - They are my Australian Brothers - BUT - I'm a girl, and some of them are girls - well rather a lot actually ! -
Oh even i have lost my train of thought here !! ) !!
BUT Marmite has more Dietary Fibre, More Carbohydrate
( Keeping you filled up for longer ) and More Protein Than Vegemite, so - GO MARMITE - YAYYY !!!
But - OK - Salt is the disadvantage - but to a greater extent it is our blessing - as - we all know - SALT ADD'S FLAVOR !! Dear olde Marmite definitely has the edge,
BUT - OK - I WAS BROUGHT UP ON IT
- so - Maybe that's why i am so passionate about it !! - Anything Marmite Tasting - to me - is OK - ohhhh - alright - for those of you who are going to mutter about this - NO - I would NOT eat a Marmite Doughnut or Marmite Ice cream - It is unequivocally a SAVORY item ( Once again I have to take this back - as - while doing some research - omg - yes - i researched this after I decided i was going to bang on with it - as i had started it !! and Ohhh Please God -
there are LOADS of SWEET recipes for Marmite - and OK - None of which i have tried - ( My cooking is dreadful - But - They do look delicious ! ) - Marmite is without a doubt one item to be cherished on Toast - as aforementioned - or with cheese - In a Sandwich - A Cheese Toastie - Warmed and had spread on Eggy Bread - Ohhh the possibilities are endless ! -
and if i am being Honorable = ( Which i never am ! ) I guess - * No sounds of gagging being mad * Vegemite could be used to the same outcome - Although - OBVIOUSLY Not as Tasty or Wholesome .... ( Ohhh and i have just found out that My Marmite Friend has actually been on the Banned list / illegal list in Denmark untill just recently - Because it was far too high in Salt - But - well -
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2731746/The-Vikings-defeated-Denmark-ready-love-Marmite-overturning-three-year-ban.html
MAN UP DENMARKIANS !
( oh and before you laugh at me - THAT WAS A JOKE - the Danish Pastry came come SOMEWHERE ! )
Nowdays - Marmite is not just a spread for indulging ones senses ( Because ohh yes - it uses them all - OHHH IT DOES IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER - JUST SHUSH ! )
and enjoying on the tongue - ( Don't be rude )
BUT - some clever Bright Spark at Marmite HQ has come up with the ingenious idea of making our dear old 'friend' into other savory bites and snacks
can now enjoy
Cheese Marmite Snacks
- in handy lunchbox size single serve snack packs - also Marmite crisps, Marmite Bread sticks, Marmite Rice Cakes, Peanuts, Cashews, and now even MARMITE CHOCOLATE !! - 
I kid you not -
I found a SWEET version of Marmite Too-
Blow me down with a feather and call me Trevor !!
OMG I HAVE JUST FOUND A
MARMITE AND MANGO SMOOTHIE -
I JEST YOU NOT !
Ohhh Now i feel as though i have to include a Marmite recipe for you - just to show it's versatility - So - Here we Go -
Recipe
MARMITE SHEPHERD'S PIE - A Good Old English Meal - with a bit of zing !
Serves: 4
Prep Time: 1 hr (including potato and lentil prep, and sauce simmering)
Cooking Time: 15-20mins
Skill Level: Simples
Equipment
Chopping board
Knife
3 x Saucepans ( 2 medium/ 1 small)
Masher
Oven proof dish
Ingredients
Filling
100g green lentils (uncooked)
1 onion (diced)
3 garlic cloves (minced)
300g mushrooms (your favourite type, chopped)
1tbsp olive oil
1 tinned chopped tomatoes
¾tsp dried oregano
dash of marmite (like a tsp)
salt & pepper
—————————————————————————————————
Mash
1kg potatoes (peeled and chopped)
100ml milk (warm)
75g cheddar cheese (grated)
3 tbsp fresh chives (chopped)
knob of butter
salt & pepper
Optional sides:
Your fave steamed/boiled veg
Veggie gravy
Method
Put lentils in small saucepan and add DOUBLE the amount of boiling water, boil over medium heat for 30mins. (You may need to top up the water if it starts to get low)
Whilst the lentils are boiling, peel and chop the potatoes into equal sized pieces (so they take the same amount of time to cook).
Place chopped potatoes in medium sized saucepan, cover in boiling water and simmer over medium heat for 15-20mins (until potatoes are soft enough for you to put a fork through).
Drain, saving some of the potato water for later.
Whilst the potatoes and the lentils are boiling, chop the onions and mushrooms, and mince the garlic.
Once the lentils have cooked (they should be soft), drain and wash as they will be scummy. Okay so now the potatoes and lentils are ready and your veg is chopped.
In a medium sized saucepan heat the olive oil over a medium heat. Add the onions and garlic.
Reduce heat and sauté until onions become translucent.
Add the mushrooms and cook until water has expelled from mushrooms (this will take about 10mins).
Add lentils and oregano, and cook for a couple of minutes.
Next, add the tinned tomatoes. Increase heat. Season and simmer for 5 mins.
Reduce heat to low and simmer for a further 10mins.
Preheat the oven to 200c/180c fan/Gas 6.
Whilst sauce is simmering, add a splash of potato water (couple of tbsp) to potatoes and mash.
To the mashed potato add warm milk, cheese and season with salt and pepper. Mash some more (get out all the lumps and adding more potato water if necessary.
To the now thoroughly mashed potato, add the chopped chives and mix.
Pour sauce into ovenproof dish and top with dollops of mashed potato.
Using the back of a spoon spread the mashed potato, covering the sauce.
Using a fork score the top of the pie.
Place in oven and cook for 15-20mins until top of pie is slightly golden.
Remove from oven and serve with veg and gravy.
NOW A SWEET TREAT - I JEST YOU NOT !
CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH MARMITE AND CARAMEL BUTTERCREAM
INGREDIENTS
FOR THE CAKE
175g plain chocolate, broken into pieces (minimum 64% cocoa solids)
175g softened unsalted butter
75g unrefined caster sugar
4 eggs, yolks and whites separated
90g ground almonds
90g plain flour, sifted
FOR THE MARMITE CARAMEL BUTTERCREAM
120g unsalted butter at room temperature
180ml milk
440g soft brown sugar
480g icing sugar, sifted
2tsp marmite
2tbsp milk (may be required)
INSTRUCTIONS
Oven temp: 150°C/300°F/Gas Mark 2
Grease and line two 17cm/7inch sandwich tins.
Melt the chocolate in a bowl over a pan of simmering water until it melts. Do not let the bowl touch the water and never melt the chocolate directly in a pan as it goes grainy. Stir well.
Cream the butter and sugar together in a large bowl until frothy and light. Beat in the egg yolks bit by bit. Add the melted chocolate and the ground almonds.
Whisk the egg whites in a seperate bowl until soft peaks form. Do not go on beating or they will collapse.
Using a large metal spoon, gently fold the egg white and the flour into the mixture bit by bit until it has all been used.
Spread the mixture evenly into the sandwich tins and baker for 20 minutes. It’s a good idea to check them after 18 minutes, the sponge should be springy, not firm.
Remove the tins from the oven and leave to cool for a couple of minutes before turning them onto a wire rack.
Once the cakes are nearly cooled, you can make the buttercream. It needs to used almost straightaway as it dries quite quickly and is hard to manipulate. In a large pan, melt the butter then mix in the brown sugar,milk and marmite, stirring until it comes to the boil, then boil for a minute.
Taste test and add more marmite if desired (remember that the taste will become diluted with the addition of the icing sugar).
Remove from the heat, transfer to a large bowl and whisk in half of the icing sugar then leave to cool, checking and stirring regularly so that the consistency is regulated.
Once cooled, whisk in the remaining icing sugar and check the consistency. If too thick, add 2tbsp milk to loosen the buttercream.
Take 1/3 of the marmite caramel buttercream and spread on top of one of the cake bases. Then sandwich other cake base on top. Spead the rest of the mixture on the top and sides of the cake and smooth with a palette knife.
OK OK - TO BE FAIR - VEGEMITE COULD ( If you really felt the need ) BE USED IN EITHER OF THESE RECIPES BUT - DON'T HOLD ME TO ANYTHING THAT MAY OCCUR.
WHY OHH WHY AM I DOING THIS POST - lol - I did kinda wonder this half way through writing - as It really did start out being a post on Subscription Boxes ! - TRUE !
But - As I was eating my Toast at the time - I kinda got wrapped up in it - Oh Not Literally - Now - that's plain - wrong - but - ok - I'm guessing some dodgy souls will no doubt be trying that tonight to spice up their sex lives ! - Ohhhhhh to have a .......................... Slice of Marmite on Toast !! ;)
Oh yeah - I carried it on -
because Marmite has such a LIKE AND DISLIKE factor - and i'm presuming that Vegemite does too - so - I'm wondering if this is what I have !! - lol - Mmmmmmm,
Am I like the Marmite of the Human World ? -
You either Love me or Hate me !! -
I have a slight inkling that i'm right !
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