BUT - OK - This Blog - Just a quickie ( I know I know I'm not good at QUICK anything ) and Tom ( My son - ) You don't have to worry - this is NOT a start of a 50 shades of grey esq number - ( He thought my recollection of David Tennant as the tenth Doctor ( Which was actually a FANTABULOUS piece of writing ) was far too risque in my last blog ! Went quite quite red and started coughing and spluttering - not wanting to read - It was NOT - BUT - now he has put the idea in my head -....... )
This Blog - This QUICK BLOG - This Blog for my brothers ( OMG Hold onto your hats im off ) We few, we happy ( Sad/ Hysterical/Angry/Desired/Despairing/Joyful/Loveing/Excited etc etc etc ) few, we band of brothers and sisters, For he/she ( NOT Transvestite - but they can come too ) to-day that sheds his blood with me ( Bloody Phlebotomist - Bain of my life Keep your veins warm Mrs Barry - they collapse otherwise ) , Shall be my brother/sister ; be he/she ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his/her condition ( If only - cause then i could stop the bloody moaning ) : And Gentlemen/Women in England now a-bed ( No TOM - THAT'S NOT RUDE IN BED - THAT'S SLEEPING ) , Shall think themselves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods ( that's RUDE ) cheap whiles any speaks, That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. ( Sorry - I just love this speech and Kenneth Branagh did us all proud as Henry in the film of the same name ! )
Ohhhhhhh - Now i've forgotton - Ohh yes - This Blog is about my latest Phone Conversations and letters from the University Hospital London Re my Pituitary Tumors and Organic Duel Personality
OK - So - I was in the car - Don't all gasp at once - I WASN'T DRIVING - !!! - Alan ( The EX ) was driving - and I was in the middle of a HUGE altercation - A MASSIVE ROW - with myself - as per usual - as he had switched off by this point - and well - I keep going - and going and going - Like a Duracell Bunny - as I'm SURE some of my words must go in SOMEWHERE and he will have to take note at some point ( I'm even shaking my own head here - I doubt very much this will happen - as - although he is a good bloke - FUCK ME HE THINKS HE IS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING - and Everyone knows - Thats Rubbish - THE WOMAN IS ALWAYS RIGHT !! )
Anyway - My Phone goes - I press IGNORE = and it shuts up - I resume the rant = then - less than four seconds later My Phone rings again -
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way
So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing
( That's Meredeth Brooks if anyone wanted to know singing BITCH )
and ohhhh i love that ring tone - so me !! I always have to keep listening to nearly the end - and even mid SCREAM - The phone goes - and that's it - I SING !! ......... and yes - as a guy said the other day on a YouTube Comment - I do have the Voice like ADELE - lmao - Sweet and beautiful - OHHHHHHHHHHH SHUT THE FRONT DOOR - ok - I'm shrill and sqweeky and warble with the rest of you !! BUT - I do have a comment that says i sound like Adele - BUT - I don't think it was her singing voice he was talking about ! CHEEK !! OK - So - I can recall the Phone Conversation word for word - as is wasn't long -
ME ... HELLO ( Very grumpy and ANNOYED ) and i so want to go into Adele;s " Hello, it's me
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet,To go over everything, They say that time's supposed to heal ya, But I ain't done much healing " - But I don't !! I just sneer !!
OTHER END OF PHONE .... An Indian Guy - " Mrs Barry .... Is this Mrs Barry "
ME ...... " Yes - This IS Mrs Barry "
OTHER END OF THE PHONE .......... " Mrs Barry - This is Rajessh "
ME ..... " Ermm - I think you just rang a few minutes ago - AND I IGNORED THE CALL DIDNT I ?? ... "
( I actually thought it was a PPI call )
RAJESSH - " Yes Madame, That was me .... You did Ignore the call - yes ... "
I interupted Rajessh here
ME - " RAJESSH = GENERALLY IF SOMEONE IGNORES A CALL IT MEANS THEY ARE BUSY / OR VERY VERY ANGRY = SO FUCK OFF .. "
Then I put the phone down...... and carried on having a huge great Ruckas with myself .... I don't give up easily !
Well - I didn't think any more of this ....... Even after i got a Phone Call from Alan on the Wednesday to say that AT LAST, The powers that be at the NHS in East Kent have found a Grade 6 Neuro Psychologist, A Neuropsychologist is a physiologist who specializes in understanding the relationship between the physical brain and behavior. The brain is extremely complex - especially mine !, and disorders within the brain or nervous system can alter behavior and cognitive function, of which I am a wonderful example !! ( I thank you ! ) So - It has taken two years to get an appointment with a Grade 6 Neuro - as The one I had before ( Who was superb - and understood everything i said - either this - or he was scared shitless of me !! !) had to come off my case because i was apparently to complex for him !!! BUT - at the time - There was no Grade 6's down in Kent !! BUT NOW THERE IS - HURRAHH !! So = I have an Appt on Wednesday - at my house - and Thank You to Tom who said :
" Oh Good Luck to her - She's gonna need it - I wouldn't want to Interview mum " = THANKS SON
Anyway - Fabulous - That has got things moving again - and i have a Inch of hope - OHHHHHHHH - THEN - THEN I get a letter - UCHL ( University College Hospital London ) wanting ANOTHER Dex test done - Even though - I had spoken to the Secretary - who was very very helpful -but she explained that they said I was NOT required to do anything more - as all my tests had come back normal = EXCEPT THE MRI which showed up not one BUT TWO TUMORS on the Pituitary Gland - One at the Side and one at the back ..... I THINK it was a secretary - But I cant remember .....
ANYWAYS ..... Then it all made sense when the Phone Call came ....
CALLER ..... Mrs Barry?
ME ............ Yep - That's me ! - ( Happy Jolly and a tad OTT ! )
CALLER ......... Morning - This is 'Cant remember who it was' from the Hospital ....
ME .......... Sorry - Which Hospital ??
CALLER ................. University College Hospital
ME ............... Ohhhh OK ( GOBSMACKED - as last time i was in floods talking to them as they said there was nothing more they were going to do - and they couldnt fit me in for another appt till aug )
CALLER .............. You had a call the other day - from your Consultant - Which you were not able to take at that time
ME ...................... NO - Sorry - I have NOT had any calls from Consultants
CALLER .................... Yes Mrs Barry - ( Snigger ) He remembers it very well - He has not ever had a phone call like it before -
SUDDEN REALISATION - OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT
ME .................... Ohhhhh - Was he the man that called and I was rude too, because I was in the middle of a 'Storm' ?
CALLER - ............. Laughing now - Yes - Thats right Mrs Barry - You told him to FUCK OFF ..... (IN HYSTERICS) ............. He has since told me that never in his life has anyone, on the end of a phone, told him to do this before ( She was in fits )
ME - ................. Yes - I remember - Laughing - I was NOT in a good mood !!!!
CALLER - No - He guessed that - and - remembers you in clinic - so - has since got you more Dex Tests Organised - as your Cortisol Levels Must be all over the place ( NO SHIT SHERLOCK ) He has also Organised a Top Grade NeuroPsychologist to Visit you URGENTLY and is awaiting a meeting with another EndoCrynologist to discuss your case further...... This is just a Phone Call to let you know things are moving along .......
ME - Ohhh Thank you so much ( For some reason I went a tad Chinese here, and I may have actually bowed - I'm not entirely sure ) Then I started laughing - at my idiotic behaviour - she did too - but rather at what i had said - and we both hung up
BLOODY THRILLED IS NOT THE WORD - FINGERS CROSSED EVERYONE PLEASE !!
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