AFTER I OVER DO IT TUESDAY - PITUITARY BRAIN TUMOUR

AFTER I OVER DO IT TUESDAY -

PITUITARY BRAIN TUMOUR

 

Well this morning I woke up at 5am - stayed in bed till 5.30am - got up, showered, make up on - dressed - cleaned bathroom - came down - letdog out, cleaned out kittens, fed kittens and dog - hoovered floor - emptied dustbins - cleaned doors and walls and then sat down to a coffee - 7am - Then I went on facebook on my phone and did a few tweets and a few google+ stories - then that was enough - I started feeling - DODGY = Head slowing and feeling I wasn't wanted - ( I know this isn't right )

 

Went to Shopping Mall - 30 mins drive - eyes shut most of the way ( OBVIOUSLY NOT ME DRIVING !! ) otherwise im jumping and thinking the cars are coming at me - and yes I actually scream AND SWEAR UNCONTROLABLEY - but even then i was feeling heavy and tired and S.L.OW

 

Anyway - went to the few shops we needed to for the kids - had a Shouting at ex paddy in one of the shops as he went off and I couldn't see him - and I was worried that daughter was in changing rooms and if I moved she would get upset - so I stayed in same position for about 20 minutes - almost in tears I saw ex coming out of changing room - He was int here allt eh time

 

I didn't have to worry - WHY COULDNT HE JUUST TEL ME

 

I wandered off = not really knowing where i was going just aimlessly wandering - and I did get a little loud and call someone a slapper when they started staring - because I do stagger and just stand still and stare

 

Got home after an eventful lunch at sainsburyies - excuse spelling

 

STRAIGHT UP TO BED - AND SENT A DODGY - TEXT TO FAMILY ABOUT WHY SOME OF THEM DIDNT CARE LESS THAT I WAS ILL - THATS HOW IM FELING .. SO I TELL EM ! Then I switched phone off ... Its still off now

 



Woke up feeling couldn't get out of bed - everything so sos sososos heavy, desperate for the loo - eventually got up 25 mins after waking - everything heavy and hurt to move legs - felt about 50 stone - went to the loo and got back into bed - all without cleaning up anything on the way - or even making the bed !! - unheard of - I just got in !! .....

Lay there, Head HAVING to stay in one position - turning it left or right up / down made my whole head feel blurry and s.l.o.w. .... Pain behind eyes, and at temples - was brought a couple of paracetamol as I don't know what else to take - I think its more psychological that they .... I was gonna say make me feel better - but in reality - I still ( an hour and a half later ) feel crap ...

My legs feel so bloated and it is a GREAT effort to move them - and even moving my arms is a HUGE stain on my head - Whenever I do this I kinda slow even more - and my temples throb. 

Lifting my arms above my head is a definite no no - For some reason - I start to cry - or rather my tear ducts open - and I start to leak !! - and and that's when the stuttering and jumbled speech starts -

 I know what I want to say - but getting it out - and it sounds like total rubbish = although - to read this - it sounds ok - my head works - if I don't concentrate and just say whats happening but as soon as I think of what to type - then my head HURTS - and goes onto a slow ,,,,

Have to keep stoping to put my head in a different position as looking down - or looking up / side / stide is PAINFUL and hurts my eyes and the sides of my head.

Head feel VERY HEAVY

For some reason - im not sure why - I find myself shaking my head - maybe - my explaination - is to clear it ?? To make it go faster - as it is VERY VERY SLOW - now the back of my head is hurting and the sides are kinda pulsating, my arms are hurts as I am truing this = I am mouth breathing and the side of my head is actually quite painful -

Im forgetting to breathe as I type - so stop from time to time to bring head up and breathe and shut my eyes- this blanks everything out - and this helps hugely .....

As I do this - I dribble - ohhh so attractive ! - lmao - but I cant help it- im not bothered - my fingers have pins and needles in them and need shaking - and my upper arms feel so flabby and heavy
You can tell when  I have to bring my head up - as I have to start a new sentence afterwards
if you look at my other blogs - I don't think this is the case ??

Im siting trying to think but- thinkis not happening - although I can just type and NOT THINK - its all very odd.... as soon as I try to think - I stop , eyes shut = pain and need t breathe !

Thinking I should take a Diazepam - But - that's to calm me down - and omg - im totally calm - just the heaviness and slowness and tiredness ( Although I have just woken ) I still exhausted - but - need to get this out - I have no worried typing and am doing this at top speed - its everything else that is so slow = I can think - just not express anything

I try to talk and for example - Calling " DelBoy " I ended up shouting Bender, or Brenda or Bendels - Means nothing - I talk and either it comes out fine - or it comes out totallt rubbish and doesn't mean anything to anyone

REMEMEBR TO BREATHE = DEEP BREATH

Headache - but think that's cause my head is pointing down - or rather my eyes are - my head I am trying to keep strainght

OK OK - IM TIRED NOW - AND WANNNA STOP - WANNA COFFEE  ops caps !! - even holding coffe cup is a task its so bloody heavy - and I cnt think to put in pics - so will write up another blog when ok - this is as it happens !

BACK SOON FOLKS !