Me - AKA : The Tooth Fairy !!

ME = AKA THE TOOTH FAIRY

OMG its NEVER been so difficult bein the TOOTH FAIRY. .

Door squeaked, Tripd over dog, fell downstairs, swore. . Oh dont judge, tooth fairys swear. I couldnt see so grabbed entire contents of purse - IN THE COIN SECTION !. Then I walkd bk upstairs only to trip over dog again, at the top of the stairs as she had moved, note to self : dont get a black dog again. .
OMG I NEED THE LOO. . Feet on freezing floor, sit down, SHITE, loo seat down, Wipe ( ohh i had to put in I wiped as otherwise ud think I was disgusting ! ) stand up, loo seat up, Remembering ive a handful of change. . WELL DONE ME! . . . Phew better. Out of ...loo, across landing, Oh my sainted aunt the fecking dog had movd AGAIN. . Trip. . STÌLL REMEMBERING HANDFUL OF COINS, I do amaze even myself.

Sshhh went into Cassias room, kick her school bag, BIG SIGH FROM CASS, Lean over, hand under pillow . . WHERES THE FECKING TOÖTH? I pock and prod and Just cant find it - wel - this kid does have about eighty pillows - Just to be comfy - so - I really didn't stand a chance . . . Cant find Tooth. . Decision made. . LEAVE TOOTH. . I deposìt handful of cash as quietly as possible - and for those that KNOW me - this is NOT an easy task - Abby and QUIET Does not go hand in hand !, I turn round, I kick school bag Just for good measure, I dont even think about the wet patch i just trod in,  then manover slowly round sleeping dogs that lie - in the MOST STUPID PLACES = She moans - . . . FFS!. . . Back in my room. . Shut squeeky door, MUST OIL. . . Fall into bed. . TOOTH FAIRY DUTY. . DONE!

6.30am after NOT receiving a wink of sleep = Creeeeeeeeeek - " Mum, Mum " ... " Yes Cassia, " - " Shes Been, The Tooth Fairy HAS been, But - she couldn't have had a £5 note as she has left it all in change - £4.86 "
- OMG - £4.86 A ONE BLOODY TOOTH ! I've been robbed !!  
"- and - " - said cass - excitedly - " She hasn't even taken the tooth - it's still under my pillow - Im So Gona leave it there and get more money tonight " - LMAO - Girl after my own heart = BUT - RESPONSIBLE HEAD ON - I DONT WANT 'THE TALK' AGAIN FROM THE EX !! I Must be Responsible !! . so = Here goes - " Cass - You CANT leave it again - as that's really Deceitful and Wrong - the Tooth Fairy Has given you the money for the Tooth - I think u should store it in my Draw for safe keeping and say a Big Thank You to the Tooth Fairy ! - " = OHH WAY TO GO ME !!

- " But - Mum - That's just DISGUSTING = You keep Teeth - is that where you get False Teeth from - are YOU going to sell my tooth ?? " - 
No Cassia - IM NOT ! "  -  "  Cass then thinks and ponders " = I guess your right - she obviously had to raid her piggy bank to give me money - I mean - she must be skint- Fancy not leaving a £5 note - and then SHE FORGETS THE TOOTH "